‘How To Be A Good Girlfriend’ sounds like a Google search of a 14-year-old, but, deep down, every girl wants to know this. Not to brag, but “Oh, you are (or would be) the perfect girlfriend” is something I’m hearing a lot lately. And, no, I don’t have Kate Upton boobs, I’m not quite as cool as Mila Kunis, and I’m certainly not up for skydiving on a random Saturday. So, let me share my insights. (If you favor visuals over text, here’s my video about it.)
1. Don’t tell him what to do.
Why? Because you are not his mom and no guy wants to date their mom. If they’re having one more beer, don’t say he can’t. It’s like him telling you not to buy another pair of shoes. Are you going to listen? Probably not. Don’t tell him they should be more organized or that they need to start eating organic. You can do those things around him, and if he eventually wants to pick up on the good stuff, he will.
2. Don’t text him all day long.
One picture a day is cool. One funny text a day is cool, too. Constant text asking “how are you?,” “how’s your day going?,” “what are you up to?” is not cool. In fact, it will end up annoying him after the honeymoon phase is over. Save the small talk for when you see him in person. You’ll have more to talk about when you’re together.
3. I must, you must?
Don’t make him suffer through things with you. If you have to study for a test, he shouldn’t have to sit in a couch next to you while you study. If you are pregnant, he shouldn’t have to forego beer because you can’t have a margarita. Relationships have no place for an “eye for an eye” mentality. Next time say: “You go have fun and we can do something fun tomorrow night (wink, wink).” He’ll think you’re so cool, he’ll go out with his friends and tell them all about how cool his girlfriend is.
4. Watch Your Weight.
Did you know that most women tend to gain weight after marriage and when they start a new relationship? Sure, you’re excited with all the dates and eating out. However, don’t have a sudden 20-pound gain. He won’t tell you because he’s already blinded by love… but, don’t ever think they don’t notice and prefer when you were a bit more in shape.
5. Be a Bro.
If you are on lovey-dovey mode 24/7, it can get really overwhelming for him. Sometimes you just need to not be complicated and be more of a guy. Kick back, have a beer, don’t spend 1 hour doing your hair and make up… he’s going to dig that you’re being more easy-going.
6. Don’t make him stop doing stuff.
He shouldn’t stop doing anything he likes to do and/or is used to doing. By anything, I mean almost anything. Hooking up with girls- obviously, not-so-fair game. However, watching porn, going out, surfing, playing online poker, watching Monday night football… whatever it is. Let him be himself or he’ll start to hate your restrictions -and eventually you.
7. Trust him.
Pretty simple: Avoid unnecessary jealousy outbursts. In fact, practice being a girl that’s never jealous. (Confidence is the key!) If he’s going to do something stupid, it’s his loss. Keep that in mind.
8. Share his interests.
Start learning about things he likes, and this doesn’t mean to start loving them. If he is into beer, basketball, jazz music… read a couple of articles, watch a couple of YouTube videos, listen to a podcast. (Just think how much you’d love it, if he suddenly knew more about the newest trends on New York Fashion week that you’re loving!) Know enough about the subject to keep up. He will appreciate your willingness to know more about something he’s into.
9. Don’t ever trash-talk his friend.
Every guy has a douchebag friend. Does that mean you have to tell him you think Bobby is a bad influence? Never! You also have a friend that might not exactly be his favorite person. Are you going to stop hanging out with her? No. Plus, he has probably known Bobby for a longer time, and you know how the saying goes: “bros before h…”
10. Don’t be a problem.
If every time he calls you, you are going to be whining about something, he’s going to want to stop calling you. If you have not-so-awesome news to share, don’t let that be the first thing out of your mouth. Lead with the positive things and save the downers for 20 minutes into the conversation.
11. Don’t be crazy.
Hi ex girlfriend was probably crazy, and that’s why he dumped her. You are not. Well, you might be, but the important thing is to master how to hide the crazy. Yeah, you just went through his 724 Facebook pictures (in a newer relationship). Now, don’t ever tell him you really liked those pictures from his 2007 trip to Cancun with his bros. By all means, let’s keep our inner stalker psycho persona to ourselves.
It should not be about playing video games with him, making him sandwiches or being available for sex anytime. Those are the fantasies of a 17-year-old boy. It’s about being considerate, being less possessive, trusting him more and allowing them to be themselves. Girls, we can agree this list is doable and fair, right?