Don’t beat around the bush.
Do you really want to start off your new year repressing all your feelings? Life is significantly simpler when you say what is on your mind as clear and concisely as you can. Fear is usually what keeps people from really speaking their mind, but would you rather face your fears or deal with the consequences that will ultimately come from not telling people what the fuck is up? You have the right to tell people your opinion, how you feel about them and the things they’re doing.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
All right, we get it, that guy you’ve been obsessing over for a month doesn’t like you back. Your best friend left you at the bar to go hang out with some random guy she’s known for five minutes. You really fucked up that important test because you could not stop binge watching Grey’s Anatomy. Shit happens. Shit happens to everyone. Shit even happens to that girl in your Psych class that manages to dress immaculately and brush her hair for class every single day. Sometimes things happen to you, and sometimes things happen because of you. Either way, you need to deal. So take a moment, get pissed, get sad, but then know when to get over it.
Don’t let anyone tell you your feelings don’t matter.
Every once in awhile you feel things and you can’t even understand them. They come on so suddenly and strongly that you just can’t shake these feelings. To put it simply, there are two types of emotions: good and bad ones. Do you ever wake up and you’re just a little happier and filled with all those good emotions? You finally got that bug problem under control in your house, that weird smell that was coming from your fridge has resolved itself, and your 8 AM class got canceled. It’s going to be a good day.
But then your roommate comes home and she’s feeling all the bad emotions for the fifth day in a row for who knows what reason. Here’s the thing: yeah, it sucks and she’s annoying and a bitch, but just as much as you have the right to feel all those good emotions, she has every right to feel however she does, too. As corny as it sounds, everyone’s feelings should matter—good and bad—simply because they feel them.
Do not put up with shitty people in your life. Period. End of story.
Do you really want this year to be the year where you go to yet another Sunday brunch with that girl who has never really listened to anything you’ve ever said, doesn’t know how to be wrong? That girl who turns her nose up at anyone and everyone that is different; the girl who can’t even say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ to a waiter? I’m going to give you the answer here: hell no. Everyone comes into your life for a reason, but sometimes that reason is to teach you your worth as a person.
Nothing in your life is going to change unless you do.
If you keep doing the same things with the same people at the same places every day and you’re not happy, what do you expect? If you are unhappy, change something. Quit that shitty job where your old sweaty boss is always hitting on you. Move out of that terrible apartment next to that crazy cat lady that smells like a combination of death and cheese. Leave your terrible relationship that hasn’t been fulfilling your needs for a long time. Nothing in your life will change unless you do; you are in total control of your own life.
Uncomfortable and new are a great combination.
Doing new things is scary; it’s even scarier when you have to do it alone. So when you’re ready to make a change, do some new things. It’s all right that you feel uncomfortable and all around pretty awkward. Let’s face it, the first time you go to that hot yoga class at your gym that you’ve been saying you’re going to try for months but never do, it’s not going to be pretty. It’s probably not even going to be yoga.
But by the fifth class, you’ll know that spot in the class that you like—just far enough away from the door, in perfect range of the ceiling fans—and you finally won’t feel as awkward. Eventually awkward and uncomfortable will turn into you finding your way. Those little wins in life are the ones that will feel the best at the end of the day. When uncomfortable turns into being on a first-name basis with your yoga teacher, that is a win and you should be proud.