Why You Should Allow Yourself To Feel The Pain Of A Broken Heart

Khánh Hmoong
Khánh Hmoong

A broken heart is one of the most painful and challenging things that one will have to endure. Painful because a part of you is broken, challenging because you don’t know how to repair that broken piece or even how long it will take to repair it. I’ve heard many theories about how long it takes to heal from a broken heart, including the ever popular “divide the length of your relationship in half”. Maybe that theory has worked for others, but never for me.

In search for a quick fix to what I was feeling, I’ve always found myself comparing my pain to that of another’s. I mimicked the ways they coped with their pain, whether that be going on some sort of spiritual journey to find a new me, buying materialistic things in hope that it would fill that empty void within me, flirting with countless other men to keep my thoughts from going back to him, or immersing myself in work to lose count of the hours in the day in hopes that whenever I decided to count again, the pain would no longer be there.

Despite doing these things, the pain never subsided. I realize now that it never subsided because I was allowing myself to go through everything else except the feelings that came with being broken hearted.

As humans, we are meant to go through these sorts of emotions in order to grow and become better versions of ourselves, and in refusing to allow myself face that pain, I was denying myself of that opportunity. A broken heart, one way or another, is inevitable, but it’s one of life’s best lessons, so embrace it.

As painful as it is, going through the emotions allows you to realize what you originally felt was genuine.

That you were daring enough to take a risk and feel in the first place, something that doesn’t come easy for most people, and who is really in your support system—whether it’s your best friend that cheers you up with a bottle of wine and a few funny memes or your sibling who reminds you how beautiful and ambitious you are.

Eventually you’ll reach a point where your emotions make you start to reflect on the person you were before you were broken and how to become that person again, but even better. In finding new ways to improve you, based your interests, not that of someone else’s, you’ll start to see that what you feel for you is more than what you felt for the person who broke your heart, and eventually you won’t feel the pain of a broken heart.

This journey to feel whole again is something that’s taken me months to master, and I still haven’t gotten to a point where I feel completely whole, but by simply letting go, embracing the pain, and relying on fashion time and patience, I’ve almost repaired that part of me that was once completely broken. TC mark

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