When people talk about closure they’re most likely referring to an apology, an explanation, or a conversation that provides peace of mind in the ending of a relationship. And when we don’t get the closure we want it’ll drive us crazy, making it so hard to move on with our lives. You can beg and plead for closure from someone but they simply just won’t give it to you. And you’re stuck on the idea that you’ll never be able to move on because you didn’t get that closure you asked for. You can spend your days contemplating the ‘what ifs’ and allow it to eat you alive. But eventually it can and will destroy you.

What I’ve learned is that at the end of the day, whether you get closure or not, it doesn’t change the situation or the outcome of it.

And it definitely won’t change another person’s feelings for you. Closure can often be mean, regressive, and sometimes just plain hurtful. And although the past will always remain in the past, it’s so important to learn how to appreciate it for exactly what it was. The past has morphed you into who you are are today and the person you will be tomorrow. I think that we crave closure because it’s so hard to come to terms with the idea that unfortunately, we are never going to be able to figure out every little thing in life. Sometimes things just happen. People leave without an explanation. And it hurts like hell. It’s wildly confusing. But, the only thing you can really do is take everything you learned from the situation, grow from it, and leave the rest where it belongs, in the past.

Because at the end of the day, closure isn’t something that we need, it’s something we think that we need.

When we don’t want to let someone or something go we hope that closure will be exactly what we need to move on. But what I’ve learned about closure is that it’s not necessary. You don’t need an apology from someone who gave up on you. You don’t need permission from someone else to move on with life. If you don’t get the closure you wanted from someone then find that closure within yourself. Forgive an apology you never got. Tell yourself that next time, you won’t settle for anyone that’s unworthy of your love. Keep your faith in the universe’s underlying reasonings as to why some things won’t work out the way you want them to.

Just, please promise me that you won’t let yourself to become so obsessed with the idea of getting closure that you don’t allow yourself to move forward.

Because to be honest, closure doesn’t exist. Closure really is just a gift you keep giving yourself.