We’ve all heard the saying “chivalry is dead” and after diving head first into the current dating scene you’d probably 100% agree with that statement. All guys want is sex. All girls want is a relationship. These bias notions are something we’ve merely accepted just because we’re convinced it’s merely our reality.
But-is chivalry truly dead? Or have we just become so accustomed to the idea that romance is so unachievable in the current dating scene, that we’ve killed it ourselves?
I would like to throw out the idea that chivalry isn’t dead unless you let it be.
I’m no dating expert-believe me on that. And I’ve encountered more than enough of the asshole guys than I’d like to admit. But, I’ve also met some genuinely nice ones that have given me even the slightest fragment of hope that chivalry in fact does still exist. How many times have you been asked out on a date by a super nice guy, but declined the invitation because he’s not your type, or he’s just a friend? I can speak for the majority of girls out there and say that this happens more often than not. Someone can be interested in you but you wouldn’t give them the time of day because you’re so focused on the asshole who hasn’t texted you back in a week. We tell ourselves that guys are all the same but we haven’t allowed ourselves to seek out the “good ones”-so to speak.
When we think of chivalry we tend to think of it as things such as buying flowers, opening car doors, or paying for a fancy date. But can’t chivalry be something different than that? Can a guy present a kind gesture to a girl without expecting anything in return? In my mind, that’s the true definition of chivalry. Not the material aspect of it all, but the respect for each other and acknowledging the act of trying.
Chivalry is a two-way street.
I’ve watched girls walk all over somebody that was a genuinely nice guy. It’s almost as if we’re wired to praise the douche lords and ignore the cordial ones. Then we’ll go on to complain that there’s no good guys left that aren’t already taken by somebody else.
I asked myself this foremost question: “Why is everything that men do, short of an impassive, emotionless response, considered to be creepy?” We give our undivided attention to the assholes and disregard the “creepy” ones because they’re too nice. Let’s be honest, how many times have you heard the phrase “he’s too nice for me” come out of a female’s mouth? Probably several times and I’m totally guilty of it myself.
He calls you instead of texting you, he’s creepy. He doesn’t try to have sex with you immediately, he’s definitely gay. He asks you how your day is, he’s way too nice. These are all forms of chivalry that we always look past because we’re so focused on the idea that chivalry is dead.
So although chivalry isn’t what it used to be (or what we think it used to be) — it still exists as long as you’re open to it.