I had felt completely lost for the first time in my entire life. I didn’t know who to turn to, or what chapter was next for me. I was in a very dark place….and wasn’t sure how to get myself out of it.
I had always been a sufficient writer throughout grade school, middle school, high school, and it followed me into college. I knew it was something I was decent at, but never looked at it as any sort of career opportunity. In my mind, writers made jack sh*t for money, why in the world would I ever become a writer?
I had been taking a couple classes here and there at a community college for longer than I would like to admit (4 years-going on 5) without any real sense of direction or drive to finish. I was thoroughly confused on which path to take. I tampered between Nursing and Business Management, because I sought after a career that made the big bucks. I forced myself towards those types of career paths, knowing they just weren’t for me.
People have told me to always take a negative situation and turn it into a positive one. It wasn’t until I endured a terrible break up that I realized how important this insight was.
When I felt in solitary I used writing as a way to release my inmost feelings. All of the words I couldn’t speak aloud I wrote down instead. It helped me cope with my emotions and kept me busy while I was grieving.
Writing became my security blanket.
In the midst of all the trials and tribulations, I found a fire in me that I could not put into words. I found my passion. I realized that writing was not just something I was complacent at. It made me feel whole again, which was something I hadn’t felt in so long.
I began writing several blog entires, short stories, and poems in my spare time. Not only did it keep me busy, but it kept me sane. I realized that my calling had been there the entire time- but it took completely losing myself in order for me acknowledge it.
“Sometimes it takes losing everything you thought you needed to gain everything you ever wanted.” -Mandy Hale
What I have learned from my experience is that even in your darkest state of mind there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel. Bad things are meant to happen to give life to better things.