As a 23-year-old single female it is safe to say that I’m a part of what is called “the hookup culture.” One night stands have replaced dating and tinder profiles have replaced meaningful conversation.

While I was in a long-term relationship I listened to all my friends bitch and moan about being single and now that I’m single myself, I finally understand exactly what they were complaining about. Our generation thinks that it’s cool to not care. Since when did not caring become cool? Expressing any signs of emotion is considered clingy and putting in effort is a bad thing.

Don’t text him first because you’ll seem like you’re too needy. And definitely don’t ask him to hang out two nights in a row because you’ll seem too desperate. Never expect an explanation from a guy you’re “just hooking up with” because everything is just casual nowadays. Make sure to always re-read every carefully thought out text message you send to him and make sure to choose words that will make you seem interested, but not too interested. Because being “too interested” in somebody is a bad thing nowadays, right?

If you’re just “HANGING OUT” you can’t get upset if he talks to another girl. Because you’re just hanging out, right?

If you’re “talking to someone” that absolutely does not mean that you are in a relationship. It means that you’re both too insecure to make it “official” and by official I mean Facebook official, duh. We don’t want to be tied down to one person anymore because the grass is always greener somewhere else, am I right?

Instead of being asked out on a date, he’ll most likely ask you to “hang out” and afterwards you’ll probably spend the next three days waiting for a text message that may never come. You’ll be stuck wondering what you did wrong and every little detail will be analyzed. Did I talk to much? Was I boring? Or was he just simply not interested?

The problem with dating nowadays is that people don’t say how they feel anymore.

If we’re upset with someone instead of picking up a phone and calling them we ignore the problem until it fades away, or worse…it doesn’t.

We can’t say how we feel anymore because we’re afraid of rejection. We’re afraid to scare away a person we’re interested in by showing any real feelings for them. Instead, we act as if we don’t care and they’ll do the same.

And it’s a vigorous cycle that never ends.