To The One Who I Need To Let Go Of

Sergey Zolkin
Sergey Zolkin

This one, darling, goes to you.

To the man who painted countless rainbows on my sky. To the man who planted all the flowers in the world in the garden that I call my soul. To the man who made sure the sun rose each morning. To the man who was my chaos and my calm. To the man who played all the right notes and sang to me the most beautiful songs. To the man who put me back together with a smile. To the man whom I got to call mine.

I have learned long before you came into my life that each sunrise comes with its sunset and that each love comes with its heartbreak. I should have known that a love like no other will come with the kind of pain that breaks every single cell inside of you.

Watching you leave felt like thousands of doors were slammed in my face in the same time. It felt like the world went dark, quiet and unusually cold. I fell to pieces in an instant, and I got a disturbing feeling that I never experienced before – I felt like I can’t pick myself up anymore. I broke so hard I forgot to cry, scream or run – I just stood there. I am still just standing here.

Anyhow, darling, one day I will start walking again; then one other day, I will start flying again.

Thank you for the priceless moments in which I have lost myself. Thank you for the smiles, the walks, the long nights and the late mornings. Thank you for the strength and faith you gave me. Thank you for putting up a god damn fight for me.

Thank you for the heartbreak, the pain, and the wake up call. It is now my turn to put up a fight for myself. You taught me that I can get whatever I want, and that is exactly what I am going to do. One morning, the air I breathe in won’t smell like you anymore, my first thought won’t be running straight to you, and my heart will learn how to smile when hearing your name, instead of shrinking. One day I will be enough.

One day I will once again be myself, instead of a hopeless collection of pieces that are desperately reaching for your hands to be put together. One day I will shine just as I was shining back then, because darling, you might have been the wildest storm of them all…but there has never been a storm that did not run out of rain. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

International, free and clueless. Open minded, yet stubborn. Mean, mean, mean, yet full of good intentions.

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