To The Person Who Is Always Fine

We live in a world where going through the motions and running our ‘auto-pilot’ dry is all too common. We wake up and fulfill routine after routine, barely blinking at the variety of life all around us.

We go to school, get the job, fill our days with the people, places, and things, and before we know it, we are sitting there, mid-twenties, wondering where the time went, wishing we were back in college, and fearing that this is all there is.

We are fine.

We work our job and justify our lukewarm distaste towards it because it pays the bills and funds the weekend fun and twice yearly trips where we blow our paid time off that we’ve worked the past six months for.

We date the guy who makes us feel alive when we are together but alone at all other moments because having someone is better than having no one, and even though he isn’t your forever person, experimenting to learn what we like and dislike seems more promising than waiting for the chance that the one that lights us on fire will actually show up.

We chase dreams that aren’t ours and mask this by saying we don’t know our purpose, because deep down we are too afraid that our actual purpose doesn’t conform with everyone else’s view of the world, and if we failed at something that others already don’t understand, what would that mean about the value of our life and how we live it?

We do all these things, and when asked about how we feel about all of them, we say we are fine. Because we are. We are perfectly fine.

We are living and breathing and going through the motions. We are keeping our heads above water and both feet on the ground. We are making a living and we are following a path that has as many highs and lows as we are comfortable submitting to at the moment, and this is just the problem.

In a world where we have the opportunity for so much more, we are living a life in the tiny fenced in backyard of our brains that we’ve constructed.

In a world where beauty is boundless, in both the ups and the downs that create the contrasted masterpiece of our lives, we are playing it safe.

We are applauded for staying in the lines and using only the given colors. Rather than mix and match and go outside what is given, we are indirectly asked to play by the rules, because the rules are prided and make all of the others that are playing by them feel better about the comfort of the choice they’ve taken.

This is how we end up in the lukewarm. This is how we end up settling for fine when things could be magnificent, vibrant, and energetically on fire.

As we watch everyone around us fulfill fine at their utmost capabilities, it’s hard for us to break that mold. Because breaking the mold means letting go of fine and deciding that we are worth so much more than what everyone around us has decided they are worth. By doing this, we’ve created a separation that feels inconsiderate and wrong because the people playing fine aren’t enemies, they are friends that are also afraid of shooting for something unfathomable, something more.

So, to the person who is sitting in that period of life where everything seems lukewarm, know that staying there is a choice, fear is inevitable, and if you are wavering on the edge of the abyss, know that you are worth so much more.