To My Ex-Boyfriend’s New Girlfriend: Be Wary, Because He Will Cheat On You

Nicki Varkevisser / flickr.com
Nicki Varkevisser / flickr.com
Why, hello. I’ve wanted to introduce myself for quite some time now — actually, for the better part of the year. I chose this form of communication because I feel it’s the only way I’ll be able to best describe myself and for you to really hear me out. By the end of this, you may or may not still choose to be with him, but ultimately that choice is up to you. Hell, you probably don’t even want to hear what I’m about to tell you. But I’m going to, because I feel obligated to let you know and, for more selfish reasons, I want to be able to finally let go. I want my life back and my wellbeing in control.

You see, I met your boyfriend at a rough time in my life. We all have them, and we all have stories that make us who we are and shape the way we view situations. I was drawn to your boyfriend. His effect on me was like a tornado that picks up everything in its path. He still has that effect on me. And I should warn you: for me, that effect is very rare.

At the time, which happened to be about 7 years ago now, I was reaching the end of an unhealthy relationship with a person that I couldn’t imagine my life without. When he packed his bags to fight for his freedom, your boyfriend kept me company through texts and online. Although we often saw each other on campus, being the two hardheaded individuals we are, we couldn’t speak to each other besides the passing glance and awkward “hello’s.” I’m not sure if he made me nervous, but I couldn’t just speak to him as others did. I physically couldn’t. So I made it a game.

You see, your boyfriend has a way with women and is very aware of the way he plays his own game. I consider myself a savvy individual when it comes to really identifying a person and being able to pinpoint a personality type, which is how I figured out his game from miles away. He continually confides in numerous women, giving each woman just enough information to assure her that she’s an important part of his life. Except, well, his virtual life. I’m not kidding when I say he can seduce you with just his words, but it’s important you let his actions do the talking. Because then he’ll receive the validation he has always deserved from you and all the women he’s dated. At any given moment he’s turning to 5 women, at the very least. But what he doesn’t know is that, from day one, I’ve known his game. I played his game, and I’ve continued to play his game…until now.

Today, I’m coming out as the other woman. He’s never physically cheated on you with me (or any of his other girlfriends), but I feel I should warn you: he would and he will. His emotional cheating extends beyond the realm of what’s normally considered healthy for a relationship. Your boyfriend is a serial dater and you are his current prey. You are — and never were — any different from the rest of them. He’s been talking very poorly of you and your relationship for weeks. And to see the tweets that you tag him in, makes me gag. I bet he never even finds the time to respond to you anymore; that he doesn’t even acknowledge you as his favorite. He will, however, text you a cute smiley face to assure you things are just a-OK…for now.

I’m telling you: he’s playing his typical game with you, until someone better comes along. While you two have been together he’s said many sexually explicit things to me. We’ve talked about being together someday and our extremely awkward relationship. And even though I’ve begged for a real friendship with him, he continues to play his game with me too. He’s talked about how sweet you are, but that your relationship lacks the passion that he’s looking for. He’s told me more about your sex life than I ever wanted to hear, and for all of it…I’m sorry.

Ultimately, your boyfriend lacks something known as balls. He has a lot of potential, but unfortunately, us women don’t ever get to date that potential. I apologize for the abrupt message, and the added tone of snarkiness that comes along with almost every word I speak of him. This was my way of letting go and regaining control of my life. I can only hope and pray that you don’t let him manipulate you the way I have. What started out as a game with your boyfriend 7 years ago, has turned into heartache and tears.
Run; run while you’re ahead. Because I can promise you one thing: he doesn’t deserve you. TC mark

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