Should You Feel Compassion For Pedophiles?

Flickr / SalTheColourGeek
Flickr / SalTheColourGeek

In 2014, The New York Times published an op/ed article where The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines pedophilia as a disorder in the brain. It explains how this disorder could be the result from a failure in the brain that provokes certain sexual response. Pedophilia is a disorder where one sexually desires minors under the age of 13. Pedophiles can be attracted to children ages four, five, or even younger. It is a sexual orientation just like any other according to the diagnostics and according to pedophiles.

But something that society urges to know is what goes inside the mind of a pedophile? How can a child arouse and awaken sexual desires in an adult?

Marquis de Sade showed through his works that sex should be as open, unlimited, and extended as the human mind. That is perhaps one of the reasons why some don’t see the damage in different types of sex such as zoophilia (sex with animals), masochism (corporal punishment), pedophilia (sex with minors under 13 years of age), or even necrophilia (sex with dead bodies) — because it is the pleasure and sensation these individuals feel that makes them see no harm.

I had the opportunity to interview a person who recognizes himself as a pedophile and has clearly stated to me that he sees nothing wrong with having sex with a child, as long as the child consents to it. But how do we know if the child consents? How do we know if the child wasn’t pressured and then abused? This is when the ethic and moral values intervene. Following is the interview where I had to agree legally from not publishing his name or pictures.


Anastasia Mechan: What do you see in a child?

Pedophile A: I just love the innocence, the personality, the happiness the child has in a smile. I cannot compare it to a woman; there is just that delicious, refreshing feeling… I can’t explain it. But I can surely affirm that the dream of every pedophile is to have an open romance, or relationship with a child. This, of course, would involve hugs, kisses, and sex as long as the child agrees.

AM: What is the age that makes pedophilia so wrong according to society? What should be the age of consent?

PA: The misconception that many have is that they consider one a pedophile because he or she is dating and getting sexually involved with a teen, who is between the ages of 14–17, which is not the case. A pedophilia romance lasts a few years only. It can start from 4–5 years of age, in some cases earlier, but it only lasts ’till the very beginning of puberty, then the child is free to go with whoever the child wants.  In my case, I usually like them between 10–12 years of age, but I can get aroused by a child as young 5…. [Silence].

[The interview was interrupted here by one of my colleagues who couldn’t stay any longer.  He was about to get emotionally and physically involved so we had to ask him to step out.]

AM: So what is the difference between a child molester and a pedophile? Is there a difference?

PA: Yes, absolutely. Just like an adult man feels attracted to another adult, I’m attracted and get aroused by children. I can fall in love with a child, definitely, but I wouldn’t date one; that’s when the difference comes versus the child molester. The child molester actually gets involved by touching or raping a child. Just because I’m a pedophile doesn’t mean I will.  I don’t want to go to jail.

AM: So, how come you are convicted?

PA: I can’t talk about it.

AM: What do your family or friends say about this disorder of yours?

PA: I don’t have friends. I mean, I do, but they live in other parts of the world. I meet them all through chat rooms. We exchange information, but I don’t accept anything that could compromise me.  My mother lives with me.  She is hurt, thinks it is her fault, but I often tell her that it’s not. It is hard to live like this.

People don’t understand how difficult it is to live with this daily issued, or disorder. The word “pedophile” is, per se, a death sentence — people immediately condemn you. They don’t see us as humans, but as animals. They don’t even want to hear if we were sexually abused as children. They just want to wipe us off the Earth.  Sometimes I wish I was death, but I need to be strong; I don’t want to hurt my mom.

AM: Were you sexually abused?

PA: I was. Yes.

AM: Do you have nieces or nephews? What if they became someone else’s victim?

PA: I condemn rape. Rape should have death sentences or life in prison. As I said, being a pedophile is very different than a rapist or child molester. I wouldn’t want any child to go through a traumatic experience like I did. [He ignored my first question.]

AM: You wouldn’t want any child to go through what you went through with an adult. Yet, you wish to have a relationship that involves sex with a child?

PA: If the child agrees, I don’t see why not. A child is as capable as an adult to make decisions. I wouldn’t hurt a child the way I was hurt, that is the difference.


We finished the interviewed right after the word “difference” was said.

That is the reason why, according to him and many pedophiles is that they are not child molesters, nor an abomination to society. He even told me he wasn’t alone. He talked to me about international pedophile celebrities and public images that I never imagined existed, who support and hope one day, relationships between adults and children will be legal.

Let me list just some of the names that have made it to headline news: Tom O’ Carroll, the Irish writer convicted for exchanging child pornography and chairperson of the banned Pedophilia Information Exchange that advocated until the mid 1980s the right of adult-child relationships; Republican Leader Bobby Stumbo, who was arrested for having sex with a five-year old; M. H. Uittenbogaard, the CEO and founder of one the most famous pro-pedophile sites in the world. The “killer clown,” who raped and murdered over 33 men, ages ranging from 9–20 and dressed like a clown to entertain children; and Republican Fundraiser Lawrence E. King, Jr. who allegedly organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s.

It is my belief that an abused child is a child who is harmed for life.

Pedophiles have stated on record that they don’t see anything wrong with fulfilling their sexual desires. But is that true? Is society the one that is sick with its laws and regulations?

It is said that uncontrollable pleasure always leads to deadly endings. Take the examples of Sodom and Gomorra, the Roman Empire, the Bastilla colonization, and, last but not least, in modern times, HIV.

Also, the sentence for those who rape, or have intimate relations with children ranges only from three to seven years in prison.

The problem with pedophiles is that often they are engaging in sexual behaviors without the consent of the minors, and that is the why of their rejection.  Not their disorder.  A minor under the age of 13 is helpless. A child of that age range lacks abstract thought and can’t distinct with clarity between right and wrong. A child should never be influenced by an adult into a decision and much less pressured into anything.

So are pedophiles abusing their power to influence children with selfish purposes? “There is nothing wrong with having sex with a child,” is the answer that, according to Pedophile A, many will give.

Some say pedophiles should have sympathy and support from society when it comes to dealing with this disorder.

Others feel that pedophiles are an abomination and should be punished, or to a certain extent, should be wiped off the earth.

And according to polls, many believe that pedophiles will never be cured no matter how much treatment they get. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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