Blake Lively: A Toddler or a My Little Pony?

Blake Lively
Courtesy of the CW Network

Reading the profile of Blake Lively in this Sunday’s Times, it occurred to me that she’s often described in the same way you’d describe a child or a pretty, pretty pony. She has shiny hair! She likes to laugh! She loves ice cream! Etc.

Does this mean Lively is a giggling simpleton? Probably not. More likely, she knows that her squeaky clean, all-American image is great for her career, and she’s not about to ruin it by saying or doing anything interesting. You’ll learn the same things about her in every interview: she doesn’t party, she doesn’t talk about her boyfriends, she loves clothes, she loves cooking at home, and she wants a family of her own someday. She’s what everyone wants from a female celebrity: a hot blank slate with hot traditional values.

It’s depressing to think that to escape criticism, an actress has to make herself as innocuous as a toddler or a plastic toy pony, but that’s what Lively’s done.

And to prove it, let’s play a fun guessing game! Guess which of the quotes below come from magazine profiles of Blake Lively, which quotes come from a mommyblogger describing her toddler, and which quotes come from Hasbro’s official description of Pinkie Pie, the pinkest My Little Pony of all.

  1. “’I want babies. Lots of babies,’ she said.”
  2. “Her eyes sparkle like blinking Christmas lights.”
  3. “By far the silliest [woman/girl/pony] around, nothing makes her happier than evoking a giggle and a smile from her friends.”
  4. “’When I have bad days, I just eat lots of chocolate ice cream and dance to the ‘Lion King’ soundtrack,’ she said.”
  5. “She’s a living, breathing human being who smiles.”
  6. “She’s generally just so happy about being alive.”
  7. “She giggles and squeals when presented with something sparkly.”
  8. “Giggly, playful and brimming over with energy, it’s not unusual to find her prancing and skipping joyfully through the streets looking for fun.”
  9. “I dare anyone to spend an hour around her without walking away singing a show tune and skipping like a bow-tied buffoon.”
  10. “I said: ‘Oh my gosh, that’s a lot of work. How do you find the time?’” (Re: the woman/girl/pony picking out her own clothes)

Answers:

  1. Blake Lively, from Alluremagazine last year
  2. Blake Lively, from Nylon magazine last year
  3. My Little Pony
  4. Blake Lively, from WWD this weekend
  5. Blake Lively, from New York Times this weekend
  6. A toddler
  7. Blake Lively, New York Times
  8. My Little Pony
  9. A toddler
  10. 10. Blake Lively, New York Times TC mark
thumbnail image – Nylon TV

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