Why Does It Always Seem So Hard To Trust Ourselves?

What is the “right thing?” It’s a very complicated question, and lately, I find myself unable to answer it. “Do the right thing” — if only I knew someone who could explain this to me.

As we grow up, we learn the good things and the bad things in life, what you’re allowed to do and what you’re not. But there comes a point (most of the time between 16 and 19) where the good things are not as good nor the bad are terrible. How do you know what you want or what you need?

You know, we like danger, we love what is wrong and forbidden. Apparently 98 percent of us feels an inexplicable attraction to the things that can hurt us. It’s amazing, it’s stormy and fun, overwhelming and exciting.

When it comes to speak out opinions, everyone likes to share what they think. You explain your VERY complicated situation to a friend and suddenly they become psychologists, which is sometimes a good thing, but what happens when they tell you, “DON’T DO IT”?

I’ve always believed in free will. You like to do it? Go ahead, as long as you don’t hurt anyone, it is totally fine, and let me tell you this — sadly, yourself is not included in the “anyone” part. Because probably, you’re going to end up hurt, and that is the “ugly truth.”

Once you make a choice that can affect you and your emotional state whether in a positive or negative way, you’re the only one who will face the consequences. It may sound a little bit cliché to say “We always regret more the things we didn’t do” but I truly believe in this.

You like that dude but your friend says that he seems like a bad guy? Whatever! Go out with him if you want to. This is our time — time for us to make our own decisions and it shouldn’t be based on what is right or what is wrong, it should be based on what makes YOU happy, and no one else. What if this guy turns out to be great? Then good for you. Oh, but what if your friend was right? Well then, you learned your lesson. Either way is a win-win. Why? Because you did what made you happy.

As years go by, we start to worry 10 times more about what people are going to say than what we actually want. I’ve come to a point where I see it all clearly. We need to ask ourselves two simple questions in order to make a decision: What do you want? And, what makes you happy?

We need to listen to ourselves. Get back to the time where we trusted, and I don’t mean the kind of trust that you have with your best friend, I mean TO REALLY TRUST OURSELVES.

Sometimes we have to risk, and that is what I’ve learned from my amazing mother, it’s scary not knowing how things are going to turn out, but it is also one of the most beautiful things. The uncertainty that something incredible may happen and all you have to do is take that baby step that will take you out of your comfort zone. TC mark

featured image – Amy Clarke

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