After the way I ended part two of this session…I know what you are thinking. And not because I can read minds.
Most people are going to at least think to themselves “what is a 36 year old woman doing with a 23 year old man?” and most people are going to come to the assumption that it has to be the sex. I mean, why else would a woman want to be with a younger man? Men are supposed to be less mature than women even if they are the same age, right? So she has to be some sex crazed, in her prime woman who is preying on a younger man. Like a spider eating her babies…or a succubus. Right?
The double standard. The big ole’ double standard.
I don’t need to waste your or my time going into the double standard of men dating younger women VS women dating younger men. A woman who does that is called a cougar. A man that does that is called….a man. Enough said in that department.
Just knowing what Matthew does for a living, showed me he had to have been mature beyond his years. He put his life in danger. Every day. For this country. For his brothers and sisters he fought with. He was of one of the most elite categories in the military. He is a highly intelligent person, has to be to get to where he has in his career. At such a young age. This isn’t your standard 23 year old man(at the time of their meeting). This is a man who has seen more things than most people do in a lifetime. A man who had to make decisions that life and death were the outcome. Like a flip of a coin. All resting on his shoulders.
Especially if that woman is successful in her own right? Active? In great shape? Beautiful? And is it any surprise that a woman who spent the better years of her marriage feeling alone and ignored would relish in the affections of such an accomplished, intelligent, handsome young man? Yes, it is not too far of a stretch to understand what brought the two of them together.
Each brought something to the table. Matthew, teaching Alicia how to slow down. Take in and notice the moments. Alicia helped expand Matthew’s world view. That very age gap brought loads of experiences, lessons, and a rich palette to create new memories from. This wasn’t two people taking advantage of a situation or getting off on the circumstances of that situation. This was a balanced, give and take relationship. Each one taking care of the other in the unique way they knew how to. Both bringing something to the table that the other was able to learn and grow from. A hug to start the day. A hug to end the day. Matthew believed in the power of the hug. These are the types of things…the little things…that make a relationship special. But that is not what is being focused on by the opposing side of this. The whole thing has to be salacious or their story just doesn’t work.
Alicia gave me the opportunity at the very beginning of our conversations to get a read on the opposing side of this whole legal battle she finds herself in. Only sending me a picture of the ADA(assistant defense attorney). Again, I have said I am using my gifts in whatever way I can to help her. The very first thing that came to me in seeing this ADA is how hung up she is on this age thing. It is a smoking gun to her. A way to show emotionally instability. A mark on Alicia’s character. Making her look like predator and Matthew the prey. And that is one way to look at it. If you are looking through black and white and grasping at straws to break the camel’s back into submission.
While we are at it here, I will go ahead and tell you the rest of my read on this female ADA. Let me say, this is my opinion and my opinion only. I am not stating factual proof. In tuning in for a read, I instantly saw this was a highly politically motivated case for her. She wants to go far in her career. Climb that ladder and fast. This case would allow her to use two dynamics to do this. I will get into those dynamics later. They do pose an interesting scenario of how a career in motion is fueled by oversights…assumptions…the perfect storm type of scenarios and grey areas that you can immediately play on to cast doubt as to a person’s motivations or innocence.
Yes, reading this woman allowed me to see the angle. I also was able to get the motive they were going to present. I told Alicia what I thought that was (will also get into that later). Alicia said that had not been presented to her at all. Only to find out weeks later…it is the exact motive they are going after. Someone more paranoid than me might wonder if they were reading Alicia’s messages…
Let me take you back to 2014.
After a couple of years together…spending almost every day together, if not every day…June comes along. With that summer month came Matthew wanting to take some time a part. Confusing Alicia because they were still spending time together daily…so where does space come in? According to Alicia, Matthew is a proud man. I would think he would have to be to accomplish what he has. He had been promoted and at his ceremony, had dedicated part of his speech to Alicia. In front of his peers. He then entered a very grueling course with a very high failure rate. During this time, Alicia was asked to serve on an Olympic selection trial in which she was hired on the spot to be an independent contractor. Matthew was on the verge of failing his course while Alicia was shining bright in her endeavors. Maybe part of his wanting to have space was so he could get some of the pride back. Do it on his own. Concentrate on what he needed to. Maybe…maybe not.
Either way, the first week of July 2014, Alicia gives Matthew an ultimatum. Saying she couldn’t be a part friend, part girlfriend. It was either going to be one or the other. And so, for a few days she was neither. That was enough for Matthew to make the choice that he didn’t want to lose her or the relationship. By the 4th of July, they were on a trip as boyfriend and girlfriend again.
Then comes July 25th. A very fateful day.
Prior to this day, Matthew’s home had a fire which caused damage. During reconstruction, he had to find a new place to live for a couple of months until it was complete. The house had been vacant for about a month during this time.
July 25th, Matthew and Alicia were going back to his fire damaged home to pick up some insurance paperwork that had been left for him.
On the way over, Alicia shoots off a quick text to the insurance company to make sure the paperwork was ready to be picked up.
Matthew and Alicia pull up to his house. They get out of the car and walk up to the door. Unlocking the door, they walk into the house together. It is at this point where Alicia sees boxes on the floor. The two of them walk back outside to get the truck ready to load with the boxes from inside. Alicia walks back into the house while Matthew is at the truck…
In that moment, she sees something move in the house. Out of the corner of her eye. It is a man. And before she can let out a scream, he is on top of her. Can you imagine? I can’t. What goes through your head at that moment? You know you are going to be hurt. You know if you scream for help, the person you love is going to be brought into the situation where he would now be in danger. Human reaction takes over though…and you scream loud enough for the neighbors to hear…much less your boyfriend out in the driveway. Alicia eventually hears Matthew coming in asking what is wrong…
Two run off. One stays and keeps beating while Alicia stands over them in complete shock. She is paralyzed. This is happening in a matter of seconds. The man looks up at Alicia and it wasn’t until that moment that she snaps back to reality. She starts defending herself. Matthew. The man runs out. Bloody and ends up being caught down the street by good samaritans that hold him down until the police arrive. One man caught. Two on the loose. A bloody shirt dropped by one of the men two houses down from the scene.
Neither Alicia or Matthew brought their phones inside. Alicia proceeds to go outside to get a phone so she can call 911. She could hear Matthew struggling to get up behind her as she does. She turned around and helped him up. She helps him walk out to the truck. Witnesses say they saw her come out of the house holding a fire poker as her weapon of defense. In that moment, she has the choice. Call 911 and wait. Or drive like a bat out of hell to the hospital. What would you do? I know what would go through my mind to do. I would not wait. I would take it into my own hands and get him there. That is exactly what Alicia did. What normally took 25 minutes to get to, she cut down to 15 minutes.
Especially depending on the person’s personality. If you are strong willed. If you are independent. If you are the go getter type. You are most likely going to think along those lines when placed in danger. Maybe that is where Alicia was in her mindset when she made the choice to drive him instead of waiting for help to come? All Alicia remembers is being told in a very unsure voice that police were on their way. While her boyfriend is bleeding profusely in the truck.
At the hospital, Matthew has some medical tests that show he has a skull fracture. They want to lifeline him to a trauma hospital equipped to deal with his injuries. They give Alicia the choice of if she wants him to go to a local hospital or to a better equipped hospital. She chooses the better one.
The hospital is over an hour and a half from Alicia’s house. Alicia still had Matthew’s truck, that was covered in blood. She was covered in blood. She made the choice to switch his truck with hers. To clean up the blood off of her. Change clothes. This is later used against her. Saying she looked pristine after the attack. Interesting fact…by the time they went after Alicia, all the security video had been erased because so much time had passed. Did she shower? Yes. Did she change her clothes? Yes. Did she get to the hospital in record time, being it was so far away? Yes.
Again, I ask you, the reader. If your loved one was being life-flighted…in which you can’t go. The drive to where he is going is over an hour and a half. Would you jump in the bloody truck with blood all over you and your clothes and get straight on the road? Or would you take the minutes to speed over to get your truck…a blood free one? Take a 2 minute shower to get the blood off of your skin…hands…face…underneath your nails? Take the 60 seconds it takes to rip off bloody clothes and throw on clean ones?
Matthew starts his recovery and is released from the hospital.
What does a couple do on that ride home from the hospital? What do you say that first night at home after such trauma? Where you both hold inner guilt as to how you could have been better. Protected the other better. More.
Do you let it bring you together or tear you apart?