1. Do you act like you have a school-girl crush?
Are you thinking about him all the time? Are you dreaming about him and what your relationship is like? Whenever he texts you giggle with delight, then look at his profile picture. Basically, this means you are in love with virtual-him. You have imagined your virtual-relationship in detail from dating to marriage to the baby in the baby carriage. Girl…if it’s not really happening in real life then it’s NOT happening. Move on! You deserve the real thing, not Mr. Unavailable.
2. Do you wait impatiently for a text?
Do you sit there staring at the phone, or constantly checking it?. 10 minutes pass…20…60…a day. Then the text finally comes and you feel relieved that he is finally giving you attention. Girl, that’s called breadcrumbing. Or, it’s him just seeking attention when he needs it. Either way, he now fills you with delight with a couple of back and forths to keep you interested. Without, consistent communication (and consistent doesn’t necessarily mean daily) via phone, text or in person you are not actually are in a relationship.
3. Did you set up a special text tone for him?
Admit it, he has that special little jingle that makes you lady parts tingle. Every time that tone sounds you smile and your heart races. It’s another dose of dopamine bringing you closer to the addiction of Virtual-Him. Change that tone girl!! Unless you are in a full-fledged long-termer, he doesn’t deserve a special tone. Treat him like the rest of your friends and family and give him the same ding as everyone else. Unless, you like being conditioned like Pavlov’s dogs. He is the definition of the unavailable man.
4. Is he only funny online?
There you go again staring into the phone, laughing hysterically. Are you thinking to yourself, damn he’s funny? You even share texts with your girlfriends so they can have a laugh too. Only one problem, in real life the boy is not that funny. That is if you have actually met him. If you have, you realize that texting is as far as his comedy act goes. Granted he may be shy in person, but when you would rather have virtual-him that human-him, it’s time to ditch him. Or, you are risking being with someone emotionally unavailable.
5. Does he send sentimental memes and emojis too soon?
Emojis and memes either funny or sentimental pop up on your screen. Instantly, you go, “Awwwww! How sweet.” But that’s where it stops. There is no real communication happening. He’s not trying to get to know you girl, he is only looking for one thing. He is wooing his way into your skirt. If you are coming from a place of scarcity (i.e. lack of dating/relationships) then this simple thing can fool you into falling for virtual-him when he is just another unavailable man looking to get what he wants…you!
6. Does he say nice things in text but not in real life?
You have been texting for a while, and you have moved into real life dating. But all too soon, you realize that he can only say nice things in text. It’s like a whole different person as you watch him be rude to the waitress, or someone that bumps into him. No matter the action, he is certainly not saying those nice things in real-life. He is really on showing up emotionally on screen. RUN GIRL…RUN!!
7. Is virtual-him better than real-him?
Did you fall for virtual-him because of the inferred deeper meaning behind the texts he sent (i.e., the guy on the phone or the virtual guy) rather than the guy you physically see once or twice on the weekends? He isn’t bad, but he isn’t present, either. Your brain made up the story in between the missing emotions because you just assumed that was how he felt—nothing had ever really been clarified. Wait…doesn’t “assume” mean to make an ASS of U and ME? Poor you, your brain failed you!
8. Is your sexting hotter than the real thing?
He gets you all hot and bothered with words and sexy pictures. (Assuming, you are not falling for the notorious d*ck pic,). With texts, voice messages, and god forbid video, this guy knows how to turn you on. But when it comes to your real dating life, the switch off. This sex-bot is only available behind the safety of a screen. Know this, people have fewer inhibitions in a virtual world. This is a sign that he is not emotionally ready for real intimacy. Girl, take note! It’s time to send him packing.
9. Do you only communicate virtually?
No call? No dates? Not even a hint of one? Is the only time you hear from him is when he wants to initiate the contact? Your virtual communication is just a virtual attaboy to feed his ego when he wants it. This virtual-crush is just that, and it’s going nowhere. This is a trademark move for the unavailable guy. He is using your virtual communication to give him a self-esteem boost. Don’t feed the Ego Monster. It doesn’t bode well for your emotional state.
10. Do you struggle to act or talk the same way in real-life?
Ok, this one is all about you. Yes, YOU! Are you bolder in your flirting and words on in a text or voice message but in real-life you are timid and shy? Or, you wouldn’t dare say some of the things you text. Well, love, it’s your turn to hold up the mirror, as now you may be the one that is unavailable. Yup, you created your very own virtual-relationship in the safety of the digital world. Guess it’s time to look within and find out why.