25 Things You’ll Never Hear A Boston Resident Say

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1. I hate Dunkin’.

2. I love the Green Line!

3. I can’t wait for all the students to come back.

4. Who’s Menino?

5. Dorchester is awesome*, I go there all the time, especially late at night.

6. I’ve never been to the Cape.

7. Pahk ya cah on Hahvahd Yahd.

8. WAR-CHEST-ER

9. Why would you want to bang Mark Wahlberg?

10. I actually don’t remember where I was during the Marathon bombing…

11. 93 was a breeze today.

12. Revere Beach, anyone?

13. I don’t drink Sam.

14. I’m kind of over Boston sports teams.

15. It’s Saturday? Let’s go to Newbury Street!

16. I’m not Irish, or Italian.

17. Harvard kids are pretty chill.

18. I was totally sober on Marathon Monday.

19. What did I do on St. Patty’s Day? Nothing too crazy.

20. That straight guy I know lives in the South End.

21. I bought a house in Beacon Hill.

22. Mike’s Pastry is worth standing in line for an hour.

23. My rent is not obscene.

24. The Yankees are pretty cool.

25. I was born here.

*Author’s note: Dorchester IS awesome, you should come here.