15 Things Black People Don’t Seem To Understand (Because, Black Privilege)

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HI, INTERNET! This is satire—I repeat, satire. This is a SATIRICAL response to the “Female Privilege” article I keep seeing circulated. To say I’m offended is… inadequate. I’m deeply saddened that someone genuinely believes in “female privilege,” or that each point raised isn’t simply an (mostly inequal) opposite reaction to a much nastier, male stigma.
So, for fun, here is a ridiculous, fake list about “Black privilege” in an attempt to show how absurd it looks to call out a marginalized group as privileged.
This is an extremely racist set of fake opinions; it is not reflective of any of my actual opinions, and not meant to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, that very real and very sexist article IS reflective of someone’s real opinions, and some of these fake opinions likely exist in the world. We shouldn’t have to live in a society in which any group marginalized by race, class, or gender is kept down. Get with it. *drops mic*

1. Black privilege is being able to walk down the street at night easily because people cross the street since they’re automatically afraid of you.

2. Black privilege is being able to turn on the TV and see your race represented. “Cops” or “The Wire” feature mostly African American casts, and Don Cheadle is everywhere.

3. Black privilege is being able to wear baggy pants without being called a “wanksta” or “wigger.”

4. Black privilege is being able to turn on the local rap station and hear artists of your race and background.

5. Black privilege is being able to check a little box on a job application and get fast-tracked to an interview.

6. Black privilege is having a higher percentage of your race supported by free government welfare.

7. Black privilege is never being told to “check your privilege” or “not tell racist jokes.”

8. Black privilege is being able to name your kids Malcolm, Xavier, or Shoniqua without them getting weird looks.

9. Black privilege is being able to be taken seriously as a professional basketball athlete.

10. Black privilege is being able to be a drug dealer or baby momma without people being surprised.

11. Black privilege is being able to be a “hustler” and not seem like a loser.

12. Black privilege is being able to use “racial profiling” to guilt your way out of a speeding ticket.

13. Black privilege is being accepted to more colleges due to Affirmative Action.

14. Black privilege is being able to talk about racism without appearing disingenuous.

15. Black privilege is arrogantly believing that racism only applies to black people. 

image –Run