How do you get up when you stumble? Where do you find healing? Are hearts ever healed?
When we are in a middle of a painful experience, whether because of death or a loss of a loved one, heartache, a failure, or a frustration, people always tell us: “You will be okay. Have faith in God’s perfect plan.” But really, we know that at trying times like this, this is the hardest to understand. Where do we find the courage to be okay when the one, or the dream, we held on to is already gone, or is the one that caused the pain? Where do we find the strength to move on with head up high when it is too difficult to even find balance to stand up? How and when can we see the light when everything seems so dark and unpretty, when all we see are hurtful memories?
For me who have been badly broken and wanted to succumb to illness, I would rather tell you these:
Let it hurt you. Do not be hard on yourself and give yourself time to go through that changing process but make sure that you do not take long. It is with our deepest hurts that we become more resilient. It is in our lowest moments that we are used by the Lord to reveal life’s greatest lessons and truly appreciate His life-changing blessings. I am telling you that even when you can finally say you have moved on, it will still hurt because the wound cuts deep. The pain will always want to come back, especially on certain occasions. But take things one baby step at a time.
Allow yourself to be weak sometimes. Remember that when we are weak, God is given the opportunity to strengthen us. At times, you will miss some things that maybe you should not miss and want some things you could not have. Just let it be. That memory, that longing, is already part of who you are. Without it, you will not fully grow into the beautiful person God has created you to be.
Be confused because when you are confused, you search deep and find your self. When you struggle with decisions, you come to the Lord and ask for help to become wiser and to push yourself further to do the things you thought you could not do. In the middle of life-changing decisions, you will confirm that it is only with God that you find answers and that only God can direct your paths. Keep in mind that when we seek in the acceptance of our ignorance and blindness, we are made to see.
Accept your imperfection and your need to grow. Accept that perhaps at some point, you have made wrong choices and you can never turn them back. Take heart. Learn to stand up and own up to your actions. Pray for the Lord to correct anything about you, if there is any that needs to be corrected. And soon, you will be thankful. You will be proud that you have become brave.
Soon enough you will eventually tell yourself: I am done with my moment of vulnerability. You will let go to be free and leave all your pains to the Lord so that when you look around, you could witness life as it unfolds its beauty and discover people as they unwrap their goodness.
In the past, I thought hearts fully heal in time. But now I think that once we recover, we become a different version of ourselves. We are never the same. We are just left to decide if we choose God to direct us into becoming the best version of ourselves. So maybe it is not just healing, rather changing heart– reinventing into becoming spectacular. We are reminded that when we seem defeated or bruised, or when we lose people, we are given that great chance to be born again. Our lives- our hearts may never be glued back to how they were but this does not mean they cannot be glued to create something more magnificent.
My dear friend, I hope you find your way into the light. Be patient. Embrace the hurt while loving unceasingly. Be comforted by the thought that you are bound for something greater than what you have set for your self. Move forward because God has already straightened the path for you. Focus on His leading because there, He has made everything beautiful and perfect.