It’s a strange feeling knowing that you’ve made a life-changing decision, and still actually waiting for your life to change.
In my last post, I had just been made redundant and my head was swarming with emotions – I was shocked, sad and scared and I really had no idea what my next move would be.
After long talks with family and friends, a fair amount of soul-searching and a few job interviews, I made the decision to follow my heart for the first time in years and go traveling.
For a lot of people, traveling is no biggie. But for someone who’s quite introverted and a fan of creature comforts, the thought of putting on a backpack and flying to the other side of the world on my own is a terrifying concept.
Since finally making the decision, my time has become dedicated to researching where I want to go, calculating budgets, planning routes and generally daydreaming about the sights, colours, smells and experiences that await me. When people ask if I’m excited I laugh and say yes, but also scared. I’m scared of being completely alone, of getting lost, of not speaking the language and being an outsider.
But maybe that’s the point – don’t the best things happen when you’re pushed out of your comfort zone? You think you have limits only to smash them time and time again. Isn’t it the case, that sometimes when you think you’re lost, you find something or someone to make you realise that actually, you’re completely found, even if geographically you don’t know where you are?
I still have three months left at work until I fly into the unknown, and although I’m so glad to have the time to plan, save and revel in the company of my nearest and dearest, there’s a feeling of unease in the pit of my stomach that I can’t shift.
In German I think the feeling could be described as ‘Fernweh,’ the desire to be elsewhere; the longing for far-off places. It’s as though I know something huge is coming, and despite the fear and the angst, the desire to be there and experience it is overwhelming.
There’s something exhilarating about knowing that in just three months your life is going to be completely changed. Every preconception, idea or opinion you ever had will be challenged; every day you will be pushed to your limit in ways you didn’t even know possible; every person you meet will be a complete stranger.
It’s a strange feeling to know that soon everything you once thought of as important – that time you text too soon after a first date or when you said something wrong in front of your boss – will become insignificant. It’s a strange feeling, but it’s a good feeling. The emotions are all still there, but they are buzzing with positivity, after all, change is coming and embracing change is part of life, and that’s what we’re all here for.