Insecurity is defined as a lack of self-confidence, which can make you doubt yourself and feel low. That is normal; everyone has felt insecure at some point.
However, it can become a problem if you always feel insecure and low. It is important to understand the insecurities that influence your behavior, so that you can change for the better. Once you recognize that you are insecure, you can start to work on the issues so that your confidence will improve.
Here are 10 everyday signs of insecurity.
1. You often worry that people are leaving you out
It doesn’t matter that you are busy, or that you only saw your friends yesterday – if they hang out without you, you think that they are intentionally leaving you out. In reality, they are your friends and they love you. They wouldn’t do anything to hurt you intentionally, and this is a sign that your insecurities are affecting your friendships and relationships.
2. You struggle to maintain eye contact
You hate the idea of talking to strangers, and when it happens you can barely maintain eye contact; you prefer to look at the ground. It is likely that the reason you don’t make eye contact is because you don’t want others looking into your own eyes, as it feels invasive and probing.
3. You can be materialistic
You can be materialistic, and you like to buy expensive items such as phones and sneakers because they offer status. They help to hide your insecurities, and when you have them you feel more important and worthwhile.
4. You are permanently worried about being dumped
Whenever you are in a relationship, you worry about getting dumped, even if the relationship is going well. You struggle to accept that other people love you, and you are always waiting for them to see the ‘real you’ and leave. The truth is that they’ve already seen the real you, and they love it; that is why they are with you.
5. You care how many ‘likes’ you get on your selfies
Status is important to you, and you feel happy when your selfies get a lot of likes. You also feel upset and low when your selfies don’t get many likes, because you don’t value yourself – you rely on other people to value you.
6. You ask a lot of questions
You always ask a lot of questions, whether they are to your friend or to your boss. At work and school, you want to make sure you are doing exactly as they asked, and with your personal relationships you are constantly seeking reassurance.
You think you need the approval of others, but you don’t. Your own ideas could be even better than the suggestions you receive from others.
7. You always ask others for advice
You struggle to make decisions on your own, so you always ask others for advice. From applying for a new job to joining a yoga class, you always need to check that someone else approves of your decision. This is damaging because you think you can’t make yourself happy. Remember that you know what you want more than anyone else on Earth.
8. You frequently double-text
Sometimes double texting might be necessary, but most of the time it seems clingy and insecure. If you contact someone and they don’t reply, you should be able to get on with your own life until they are free. If you frequently double text, it could mean that you struggle to be independent or alone.
9. Being unable to receive compliments
If someone tells you that your hair looks great, you will respond by insulting yourself – “It looks really greasy today!” Being unable to receive compliments is a sign of insecurity, as it indicates that you don’t think that you deserve to be complimented. Remember that if someone compliments you, they are not having a joke at your expense – they are being genuine.
10. You second guess yourself
Whenever you make a decision alone, you end up double-guessing yourself. If you stop to think about it for too long, it becomes overwhelming. For insecure people, making decisions is very difficult as they always worry that they have made the worst choice.