Let’s not sugarcoat it. You deserve better than sentimental, shallow words that make it sound like it’s easy to love yourself.
If it were easy, the world would be a beautiful haven where everyone walked around with the confidence and self-assurance that you are probably faking until you someday hope to actually achieve it. You’re not alone. If you could know the truth, you’d see most people are doing the same exact thing.
As humans, everyone is full of doubts and insecurities. Self-love is not the norm. It is the ideal. As such, it isn’t something you find easily overnight, especially if you are someone who has had your confidence torn down by experiences, people, or circumstances in your past. And that is okay.
Repeat that to yourself.
It is okay if you have not yet found the ability to become the love of your life.
Like all worthwhile endeavors, this is not an easy one. Learning to accept yourself exactly as you are and celebrating it may very well be the most difficult, raw, primal work that you ever do. It will also be the most worthwhile journey you ever take, because a life lived in a mindset of inferiority and insecurity is a depressing life indeed. And yet, almost everyone struggles with finding ways to love themselves. You must avoid numbing and self-medicating and using coping mechanisms to delay the work of achieving love for yourself. There are infinite traps and temptations along the way, but they are all temporary fixes. When the distractions are gone, you find yourself right back where you began. That is no way to go through life.
Your existence will pass so quickly. Do you really want to spend it in a way where you don’t value or care for your own incredibly unique self?
There’s only one of you, so do the work. Push through the difficulties and delve into the deepest, darkest corners of who you are. Figure out why you harbor insecurities and doubts so that you can learn how to move past them. It sucks, but no one else can take this journey for you. You have to become your own best friend in order to truly triumph over the baggage and the bullshit.
So, yes, the love of your life should be yourself. For most people, however, that’s not the case. They aren’t ready or willing to take the steps necessary to get to true self-love. Don’t worry about them. You must focus on your own needs, make yourself the priority, and spend your time wisely. Don’t waste it hating yourself. Every step that you take towards positivity is a step in the right direction. Know beyond a doubt that the bliss of truly having your own back completely is worth every bit of the struggle to get there.