Yes, I’m single. Very, very single. About as single as I could possibly be.
Oddly enough, I have more men in my life than ever before. Despite the fact that I’m not romantically involved with any of them, they’re everywhere. I’ve never had this many male friends before and it’s honestly pretty wonderful.
Some of them are married, some have girlfriends, and some are even available. They all have one thing in common – they add great value to my life. I’ve never been this comfortable having close male friends before. It has brought new facets of enrichment into play that I never thought possible.
Before, if I liked a guy enough to be his friend, that probably meant I had a crush on him. Sure, I’ve had a couple male buddies in the past who I wasn’t interested in romantically – but they were few and far between. If I tried to get close to a man it was probably because I had ulterior motives.
Now I revel in the ease that platonic male companionship brings. There’s no need to worry about impressing anyone. There are no emotional stakes; I don’t have to fear rejection or heartbreak. I get (most of) the benefits of having a boyfriend without any of the baggage that comes along with it. It’s amazing. I wish I realized a long time ago that surrounding myself with terrific guy friends was the key to happiness, not dragging myself through a bunch of ill-fated romances. Dating is kind of the worst.
I enjoy the company of my male friends and they enjoy mine. I’m always chummy with their significant others – after all, there’s no reason to be weird. They have no competition in me – I don’t want their men. I’d rather reap all the rewards of friendship without the emotional ups and downs of a relationship.
Does this mean I’m a commitment-phobe? Maybe. I certainly don’t enjoy putting myself out there and getting hurt in the process, but does anyone? With my friends, I can be my true self and know that I won’t be rejected for it. That feels pretty damn good. I’ve matured and evolved enough to see the value of authentic friendship, whether that be with a man or a woman. I’m honestly not quite there yet when it comes to romance.
Hopefully, someday I’ll be capable of developing a partnership that’s as healthy as the friendships I now enjoy. My plethora of successful platonic male relationships gives me renewed hope. Spending time with guys on a friendly level is helping me understand and communicate with them more effectively, which should greatly benefit me when I go to date in the future.
For now, though, I’m happy with the way things are. I already have a longtime squad of majorly awesome chicks who support me and bring me joy. Now I’ve added a newer group of kind, funny, and intelligent dudes to the mix. No, none of these guys are “mine” – but they mean the world to me as friends. That’s good enough.