Perfect Girls Aren’t Who You Think They Are

Sorin Sîrbu / Unsplash

The world has an image of the perfect girl. It saturates our social media feeds. She’s lovely, but in a natural way, with a softly flowing mane of hair and pearlescent white teeth. She’s lithe but toned and she wouldn’t dream of having plastic surgery – after all, she doesn’t need it. Her life is busy but she balances it all with grace, quiet ambition, and tireless energy. Apparently she can also operate without any sleep. Careers, kids, hobbies, marriage, friendships, exercise, adventure, socializing – somehow she does it all without any discernible amount of effort. She’s consistently grateful, humble and down-to-earth. She’s just…perfect.

This is bullshit and we all know it, so why do we buy into the fantasy? We know she isn’t real but somehow we still envy her existence. Why is everything so easy for her? How does she do it? Why is she so damn serene all the time? We tell ourselves that the image is a facade but still we feel inadequate.

The truth is that the real “perfect girls” of the world aren’t who you think they are – not one bit. They aren’t obsessing over their social media images – they don’t have time. They’re too busy living their lives authentically from moment to moment, drinking in every second because they are wise enough to understand that time cannot be bought back or taken for granted. They laugh often and they love hard, but their daily existence isn’t always pretty or happy or easy. It doesn’t matter to them – they know that the struggles are part of the deal and that life will always have ups and downs.

They aren’t always put together – in fact, quite the opposite. Sometimes they have wild hair because they’re too busy living their best lives to spend too much time fussing with it. Sometimes they have crow’s feet and sweetly creased smiles from their frequent fits of delighted laughter. Sometimes they throw on whatever’s easy and quick so they can run out of the house to get about their business. They’re lovely because of who they are and what they stand for, not because they are perfectly polished and groomed.

Their beauty transcends superficiality. It is in the mischievous twinkles in their eyes, their mirthful and guileless grins, and their dedication to the people and world around them. They operate in a space of compassion, kindness, and love. They usually aren’t the hottest girls in the rooms, but they are the women who are surrounded by friends because their energy is magnetic.

Perfect girls are beautifully flawed. They embrace their individuality because they know that it’s a waste of time to try to be anything they’re not. Their lives are sometimes messy and chaotic, but no one could ever say that they don’t live them to the fullest.

They are all very different, but they have one thing in common: that indescribable quality that unites them as amazing, strong, complex, brilliant warrior queens.

So don’t worry about those perfectly curated social media feeds – that’s not real life, and even if it was, it would turn out to be achingly one-dimensional. Don’t strive to be those cardboard cutout people. Recognize the multilayered, infinitely fascinating and incredibly vibrant women who occupy the space all around you. Know that you, yourself, are a perfect girl even as you embrace all your imperfection. Believe that you are enough – exactly as you are. Don’t waste your time searching for perfect girls to emulate – look in the mirror instead and know that a perfect girl is smiling back at you. TC mark

Speak your truth. Be kind. Stay present. And don’t forget to play!

Keep up with Amy on Instagram, Twitter and

More From Thought Catalog