Why Do Guys Say They Want A Strong Woman But Change Their Minds Once They Get One?

woman in dark my lamp
God & Man

Women think that when they become stronger and more independent, their dating lives will be amazing. They, unfortunately, couldn’t be more wrong. Turns out dudes like the idea of a badass woman more than they like the reality:

They want to sound evolved but don’t really feel that way. Men want to appeal to women and they will do just about anything to get laid. Of course, if a guy thinks that it’ll help him get a girl into bed, he’ll act as if he adores her strength and ambition. When it comes down to serious dating, though, he’s not so into it. He has to reveal his true self and she’ll call him out on it.

They like the idea but that’s it. Men have an unrealistic fantasy about being with strong women just like they do about manic pixie dream girls or sex goddesses. They have adopted this false impression of what it means to date an independent chick but don’t like the reality of it. It’s not easy being with a dynamic and ambitious woman, and they don’t want to try that hard.

They think being with a strong woman will be something it’s not. Just like the romantic comedy ends before shit gets real, the fantasy of dating a badass chick ends with winning her over. It’s almost like she’s a bigger prize because she’s not easy to get – but then once they have her, they don’t want her anymore. They don’t want to commit to the work of being in an adult relationship.

They’re trying to impress some chick they like. Again, men will say and do whatever they can to get the woman they want. If they think that acting like a forward-thinking feminist will score them a lady, then sure, why not? The problem is that she’s going to figure it out eventually. Once she does, she isn’t just going to let the bad behavior slide. They find this quite inconvenient.

They have no concept of what a strong woman really is. They don’t understand that strong women are immensely complicated beings and that they ask a lot of the men they date. These ladies know their worth and demand what they need – whereas men seem to only think about the sizzle factor of a woman who can dominate them in the bedroom.

They mistakenly think they’ll get to be lazy. Oh, a strong woman? Awesome – not only will she earn all the money, she can handle everything else too. Guys who think they can just lie back and relax while the chick does everything have another thing coming – and they don’t like it when they figure that out. She is not about to stick around with some passive loser.

They’re attracted to what reminds them of their mother … but also grossed out by it. Men who have strong female role models in their lives are sometimes drawn to similar partners in relationships. They also sometimes become resentful and defensive when they have to face the reality of dating a forceful woman. The dynamic becomes unhealthy and weird for both parties involved.

They start resenting her strength once they’re dealing with it. It’s one thing to imagine how awesome it’ll be to date an opinionated and secure lady, but quite another to be man enough to live with it. Most men feel intimidated and emasculated by strong women when they’re in a relationship dynamic. She doesn’t put up with this and they hate that too.

They think it sounds sexy but then feel insecure. She’s confident and vocal in the bedroom – awesome! Not so fast. When guys get a woman who actually behaves that way, they have a hard time dealing with it. She will force them to live up to her standards and she’ll let them know when they aren’t cutting it sexually – and dudes can’t hang. They don’t want to hear that they aren’t amazing lovers.

They don’t realize at first that they don’t have the guts to go toe-to-toe with her. It all seems fine and dandy when dating a powerful female is simply a concept. Then, when a guy actually starts dating one, he realizes that she’s still a challenge after he has her. She doesn’t transform suddenly into some agreeable “cool chick” who goes along with all his crap – and he doesn’t like that.

They secretly think she’ll succumb to their masculine charms. A badass woman is the ultimate prize in the minds of ultra-competitive men. The thrill of the chase is heightened because she’s so hard to get. They don’t actually want what they get in the end – someone who stands up to them and demands the best of them all the time. They think that she’ll turn into the perfect submissive girlfriend.

They don’t appreciate the complicated but beautiful reality of being with a badass babe. It’s a lot tougher than it seems initially, and most guys can’t handle it. It’s definitely worth it, but only the rare secure and mature man will stick around to figure that out. Most of them will cut and run when the going gets just a little difficult. They didn’t bargain for actual work to be involved. TC mark

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