I’m Taking A Break From Dating To Focus On Myself (And I’m Happier For it)

happy woman
Priscilla Du Preez

Anyone who knows me can tell you that I’m a very busy woman. I’ve always got 10 things that I’m trying to get done at once. I’m most efficient when I’m busy, multitasking, and passionate about what I’m trying to achieve. My determination drives me onward when I’m tired and motivates me when I’m feeling discouraged.

I wasn’t always honed in on a vision of what I want. For most of my adult life, I wavered, trying on a lot of things for size without ever fully committing to them. It took me a long while to find the lifestyle choices that resonated with me. While I’m not quite where I want to be professionally yet, I feel confident and driven because I now have a plan. I know what I want, and though some of my ideas are still vague, I know that I’ll understand what’s right when I see it.

I’m excited and confident when it comes to pursuing my ambitions, but at the same time I am also the most single I’ve ever been. I don’t even think about dating anymore. There’s no space for it. I tried to make room and I ended up disgruntled and frustrated because I wasn’t receiving the same effort I put forth. Ever since I gave up on trying to push dating into my life in an inauthentic manner, I’ve been infinitely happier.

Dating wasn’t working for me and now I finally know who I am and what I’m worth.

I will no longer suffer fools or put up with less than what I deserve, and that’s all that I was getting. It was literally affecting my mood. I couldn’t stand the fact that men were so dismissive of what I have to offer. I know it’s not me, it’s them, but when I started to dread going out with new guys, I knew I had to back away.

Now I put all that energy and time into my work, something that will yield actual, tangible results. I’m not unhappy or disappointed that I have no dating life. I’m too busy working towards building an amazing existence for myself, partner or no partner. I am human and do, of course, sometimes hope for a deep, fulfilling, intimate love to come along. On the other hand, it’s better to go entirely without than to waste my life on something subpar.

Many men that I meet say they find me intimidating. To that I say, if you are threatened by my ambition, then please leave me be.

Anything else would be a waste of my time. I will not tolerate anyone who tries to drag me down or undermine my confidence. I’m searching for a man in a world that is seemingly populated by an overwhelming majority of boys. I don’t have any more time to waste on such nonsense.

Instead I’ll continue to focus on my work, build my self-confidence, and trust that love will happen for me when the time is right. If it never comes along, I’ll have a kick ass life to enjoy regardless. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Speak your truth. Be kind. Stay present. And don’t forget to play!

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