I’m Choosing Not To Have Children Because I Want To Take Care Of Those Already Here

via istockphoto.com / freemixer www.istockphoto.com
via istockphoto.com / freemixer www.istockphoto.com

The decision not to have children is my personal choice, and I respect the differing choices of others. That’s what it’s all about, this humanity thing – respecting each other. Despite that, a thought weighs heavily on my mind. What if, instead of bringing new people into this world, we took care of those already here? What if we made sure all the children already born had the love and parenting that they need? We could literally change society in the span of one generation.

I always said that if I ever did want children I would adopt. I saw no point in bringing new life into this already overpopulated world. I still stand by that opinion. There are too many humans on this planet. We are draining our natural resources with our greediness and materialism. Species go extinct and nature is destroyed because of our overwhelming selfishness. There are simply too many of us.

What if we let that selfishness go and stopped adding new people to the mix? I’ve never quite understood why people need to have their “own” children. It’s instinctual narcissism if you think about it. We want to have children that look like us, that carry our traits, that act the way we act. Why? Why is that necessary? Would it not be a greater display of love to take in a child who does not look like us but who needs us and is already living on this earth? I argue that it would.

Consider this – those who do not yet have children, but want them, take in children in need. Children who could have good lives and become intelligent contributing citizens if they are not discarded like trash. Children who might otherwise never recover from the conditions they did not choose for themselves. Children who will never have the opportunities they deserve if no one helps them.

Of course, in order for this to work, our adoption process would have to change completely. It’s far too difficult and far too costly to adopt a child. It’s no wonder people only do so when they absolutely can’t have any of their own or when they have money to spare. If we really want children to be helped, we have to make it easier to do so. Cut out all the middle-man agencies who charge insane amounts of money, taking advantage of those who only want to do something good. We have to create a new system.

I don’t advocate for simply handing children over to the next stranger on the street, but there has to be a better way. There is a depressing irony in the fact that any person, no matter how unfit to be a parent, can have a kid if they want, but you practically get punished for wanting to adopt. You certainly get raked over the coals financially. It’s a perfect example of the double standards that run rampant in our modern society. Excuse my language, but our rules and regulations make no fucking logical sense.

I have an undying respect for foster parents and parents of adopted children and I always will. They display a selflessness and compassion that is too often lacking in the world. It’s no easy task to take in young people who have been hurt and damaged and abused by life too much already. It’s an incredible labor of love. I find it truly inspiring.

I know this will sound like a crazy theory to many. Maybe it is but just think of the possibilities. Give children a safe place to live, an education, and love, and they are much less likely to become criminals or addicts. Take away the desperation and fear and necessity that leads them to dark places. Show them that yes, life can be different for them and they are worth something. I believe that if we were truly selfless and came together as a community to take care of the kids who need us rather than creating more, we could literally transform society.

I won’t be having my own children. I know that I can use my time and energy to help multiple children more effectively. I want to make a difference for people who need it, here and now. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion, it never hurts to reach out and help others. We can all do better. We can all be better. We must. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Speak your truth. Be kind. Stay present. And don’t forget to play!

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