I’m Sorry, But He’s Just #NotMyPresident

I was trying to write a different kind of article tonight, but I can’t focus. I’m stunned. Stunned that our country is so massively divided. Stunned that we’re down to this tight of a race between an extensively qualified and intelligent woman and a clown of a man who has no experience and has proven himself time and again to be a detestable human being. I honestly cannot imagine living in a country where Donald Trump is President.

Is this a joke? Are we on some horrible reality television show? Is that what America is now reduced to, so deeply divided and at odds that we are willing to give power to such a terrifyingly morally corrupt individual? I knew this was a troubled country, but I guess I didn’t realize how bad it truly has become.

I hardly have words to put down in this moment, as Trump more decisively nears 270 electoral votes.

I’m a woman living in a country where we are about to elect a man who boasts about grabbing pussy. A man who has been accused of sexual assault by a score of women. A man who is openly racist, misogynistic, bigoted and homophobic. A man who is about to be taken to court on charges of fraud. A man endorsed by the KKK.

I quite honestly feel betrayed by my nation.

Say what you will about Obama. I don’t give a fuck. He is a loving husband and father who has a beautiful family and obviously respects women. He is a class act, and so is his fiercely intelligent and poised wife. He puts most of our white presidents to shame in that department. We are going to go from the First Family we currently have to what? A disgusting, corrupt, tax-dodging and arrogant man who has been building his wealth on the backs of the working class for decades? Who boasts about being a terrible human being? A man who is anti-immigration, yet married to an immigrant who worked illegally in this country for years?

It is so ludicrous to me that this man could actually be the face of the United States that I literally cannot accept it. My mind refuses to wrap around that insanity.

Is the working class really so ignorant as to think that this man is going to fight for them? He has been abusing the working class his entire life. He has no idea what it is like to be them. He doesn’t understand them. Why the fuck would they think he will change when he’s President?

The most terrifying aspect of this election isn’t even Trump. It’s that he will be a puppet for the Republican Party. I cannot even imagine what his Cabinet will look like. Republicans dominate the House and the Senate. They will appoint a super conservative Justice, if not two, while he is in office. My reproductive rights and rights as a female are basically gone. The rights of the minority and LBGT citizens of this country are basically gone. We have fucked ourselves and we only have ourselves to blame. Well, our country. I certainly didn’t ask for this.

We just went from electing the first African-American president to regressing sixty years. I feel betrayed as a woman and a human being. For the first time, I am wholeheartedly embarrassed by my country. We are going to be the laughingstock of the world. Now I not only want to apologize to everyone here for the color of my skin and my included privileges, but also to the rest of the globe for my nationality.

I don’t know what else to say. I’m terrified for the people I love. I’m terrified for my own rights. I’m still numb, in shock, sick to my stomach that this will be our reality for the next four years. I’m incredibly grateful that I don’t have to raise a daughter in a country where a man is accused of sexual assault and misconduct by several women and still elected our leader. How do we explain that to our girls? I can hardly stomach it as a grown woman. In this moment, all I can feel is that my nation hates women. Women are not respected and not valued, no matter how equal we prove ourselves to be time and time again.

We are a country of hypocrisy, easily swayed and poorly educated. We as a nation are probably getting what we deserve. What pisses me off is that I’m getting it too and I certainly didn’t ask for this. I’m very angry and you won’t like me when I’m angry.

I wonder if this is how our parents’ generation felt when JFK was shot. Helpless. Lost. Abandoned. Betrayed. Disgusted. In the midst of all this anger and chaos and turmoil, I reach deep down and I offer you all my heart. All of you who are terrified for your rights now – I’m here for you. We have to band together and stay strong and fight the best we know how. We have no other choice.