How Long Does It Take To Get Over An Almost Relationship?

How Long Does It Take To Get Over An Almost Relationship?
Courtney Clayton

How long does it take before you get over your almost relationship?

Some believe that, since there was never a label, you shouldn’t take long. It never was a relationship and so it isn’t a big deal.

You are aware from the beginning that it would never be anything more, but even then he shows you dreams and gives you hope that maybe things will eventually work out.

Maybe if you left right after instead of staying the night, it wouldn’t hurt so much. Maybe if you didn’t come over to watch a movie and make dinner, I wouldn’t have memories that I keep replaying. Maybe if you never spoke to me about your thoughts and feelings, I wouldn’t care so much for you.

Maybe if you didn’t act like you care, I wouldn’t have got this attached to you. Maybe if we actually were in a relationship that we chose to end, things would make sense and be clear. But we were in this limbo of being in-between a relationship and not, which makes this cloud of “what if,” that constantly lingered over me stay even after you’re no longer mine.

We don’t live in the same city, we never would, and that is why we decided that we can’t ever be anything more.

We were only being practical, after all. How many long distance relationships survive? And if they survive, they surely do so when it’s clear that at some point you can be together again, in the same place.

We were too young to take on any such commitments back then. It seemed like the easier option, if only I had known that trying to forget you was the hardest thing I am ever going to do.

The hope of our almost relationship becoming a relationship somehow never really died, it stuck around even though you didn’t.

It’s easier to forget when it’s long distance. Well, I think I love you more being apart from you now than I did when we lived near eeach other.

It’s been three years. I sometimes feel the “what if” clouds leave, only to soon have you come back into my life and remind me that our relationship meant a lot to you. Leaving me with an even bigger cloud each time, which I have to co-exist with.

We don’t talk anymore. You have another girlfriend. I was engaged to someone else and even now that terrifying cloud is still lurking around.

So, while a lot of people try to put a value on how long it takes to get over someone (half the duration of the relationship most say is a thumb rule), I have taken over three times the duration of the “relationship” and still I haven’t gotten over you.

These numbers are probably only for “relationships” with a label. What about relationships of the heart? What about relationships where you’re best friends? What about relationships where you believe you’re soulmates? What about relationships where you know you would be together if you lived in the same city?

The only difference now is that, while I have got accustomed to living with the nagging “what if,” I am conscious that I have to let it go.

I guess I’ll never know when exactly I will get over you, or how much longer I will feel like this. Maybe I never will forget you, and maybe I will always wonder “what if.” But I can live with it.

It’s always great to have answers, but in all this time I’ve come to learn that sometimes we never get all the answers and we just have to learn to be okay with that.

Instead, focus on being happy in all that is coming your way, that you were ignoring while trying to solve the “what if.TC mark

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