What It’s Like When The Person Who Dumped You Is Still Emotionally Dependent On You

Couple laying on pavement together
Toa Heftiba

You are dating someone else. There is someone else whom you spend hours talking to at night before you go to bed. There is someone else with whom you make plans to meet and spend time with. There is someone else now who you tell about your good days and bad. There is someone else with whom you share your plans and dreams.

There is someone else who is the reason why I don’t hear your voice as much anymore. There is someone else who is the reason why I have had to let you go. There is someone else, and so there is nothing more left between us.

Even then, in your most lonely and vulnerable moments, why is it that you call on me? When you’re at your lowest and in your darkest place, why do you feel the need to lean on me?

Why do you find comfort in my voice? Why can’t that someone else who has replaced me fill this void for you?

We have been through a lot together and there are some spaces we reserve only for each other. But is this really healthy?

You have moved on, so why do you tell me you miss me in your most feeble moments when you feel helpless about life? When you can’t see any good in the world? When you are disturbed by the unfairness of life? Why do you need me to show you optimism and hope?

The answers are obvious aren’t they? But I can’t tell you this. I need you to discover these answers yourself in your own time. However long it might take you and however frustrating it gets for me since the answers are so apparent, you have to reach the conclusion yourself.

You let me go once before, but even after going away, I came back. This time it’s my turn to let you go, in hope that you too will come back. Maybe then we will see more clearly what we mean to each other.

I guess this is what is important for the relationships that are meant to last a lifetime. You need to be away and be with other people, only so that you can realize how no one else can match up. It solidifies that intuition that you had found the one and that that one is your ONE.

It is of course scary that maybe you will be happy in this new relationship. And maybe you might realize that this is the one you’ve been looking for, in which case I’ll be happy that we got our answer anyway. Ultimately, if you don’t return, it just means you weren’t meant to stay. That would be a learning experience too.

So while I wish things would hurry up, and I hope I get the answers I am seeking soon, I know good things take their time. I am prepared to embrace things as they come to me. I have made peace with letting you go, hoping you will come back. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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