When it comes to love, I believe that contrary to books, movies and experience, we shouldn’t just let it happen. Instead of “following your heart,” I say follow your mind too. Don’t let infatuation and ‘sparks’ cloud your judgement because let’s face it, have they ever really lasted? More often than not, in a few months, after the buzz is gone, we’re left with a bitter taste in our mouths coming from the load of emotional bile its left us (assuming that’s all it left).
After loving with my heart over and over again and failing over and over again, I tried making use of my mind and letting it lead my heart to a path I’ve never gone before. Because of that, I stumbled upon a love that I would never have had if I continued to blindly follow my heart.
1. It doesn’t always necessarily make the right choices
We put too much weight on our heart and its gut feels (heart feels?). We measure things on whether or not it feels ‘right’ (whatever that means). We do it so much and yet we don’t even realize how many times we’ve been screwed over by our supposedly accurate internal radar.
We turn a blind eye on the mess it’s led us to and never even consider that maybe listening to our heart might not actually be a good idea. Think about it, we’ve been in more than one situation where we choose our intuition over common sense and we’ve paid dearly for it.
2. The heart doesn’t, or rarely, ever changes
If there’s one thing that the heart is, it’s consistent. As a wise person once said (or sang), the heart wants what it wants, and most often than not… what it wants doesn’t actually change. Now that can be a HUGE problem especially when your heart seems to only want the players and the heartbreakers. Following your heart may just lead you to jump from one mistake to another creating a vicious cycle.
3. The heart is rash
The heart is very into the moment. It’s easily excited and easily overreacts when it encounters something that gets it all pumped up (literally). It blinds your judgment and makes reasoning out things VERY difficult. That’s exactly the reason why you miss those telltale signs that you’re perfect guy or girl might not actually be… perfect.
4. It causes you to limit yourself
Now this is the most problematic thing that comes with only listening to your heart. You limit yourself, and that’s a problem. You miss out on the nice guys or nice girls out there who can and will treat you well if given the chance… who’ll love you just as much as you’ll love them.
You don’t allow them in because they don’t make your heart flutter the moment you make eye contact… because they don’t fill you with that thrill and excitement that your past relationships gave you… because you believe that the absence of all this means that it will never work out and that you will never love them.
Now I’m not saying we should all completely ignore our hearts and only take people and things into account based on logic. What I AM saying is that, the heart is naïve and vulnerable, and like all things of that nature, it needs a little help from your brain.
Think things through. Reason it out before you dash off with Prince Charming or to BE Prince Charming… and before you say no to that guy or girl next door, think about whether you like that person for who they are and whether they can treat you right because the great thing about the heart is that when given time, it can learn to love just about anything and anyone.