You Can’t Build Homes Out Of People

I love being on my own. Now let me tell you that there IS a difference between being on your own and being lonely. It’s not the idea of being anti-social or asocial either.

It’s amusing to have people question me “You’re going shopping/to the beach/café on your own???” And I always answer with “What’s wrong with that?” Really, what IS wrong with doing certain things on your own?

People misunderstand the meaning of being independent. Most have the idea that being independent is being able to live your life without guidance, being able to financially provide for yourself or not depending on your parents basically. They forget that being independent is so much more than just that. It is the idea of not being dependent of ANYBODY. It is not being needy completely. (Set aside the normal human nature to crave stuff like affection.)

Being independent is also accepting that there WILL be days that everybody won’t have time for you at a certain moment. Being independent is, despite that, you go out anyway because you’re not afraid. Being independent is being comfortable in your own skin. Not caring about other people’s (.i.e., strangers along the streets) opinions of you. It is accepting that everybody will have an opinion when they see something out of their norm. For the reason that, no one is completely bothered by a small matter anyway. You’re simply a passing cloud; a stranger. It is you who choose to be comfortable. You want to try new things? Go for it! You don’t need someone else. What’s wrong? You’re not going to try something new just because you don’t have company? Until when will you wait?

It’s not sad. Once you accept that you’re on your own, it doesn’t have to be sad unless you will it to be. Feelings are coming from you. No one else put it there.

“Don’t build homes out of people.”

You don’t need someone to be there for you. You don’t need to be needy to be happy. What you want is love and not someone who’s always there 24/7 to get you out of a deepening hole, you need someone to catch you when you fall. Before you fall, you are upright and ready. You are independent and strong. Everything has a beginning. You can be independent and love someone too. You don’t NEED a person. You WANT a person. You want them to be there. You want them in your life not because you need them. You want them in your life because you love them. You love every aspect of that person for whom they are. You want them because you trust them and they trust you.

Doing stuff with someone is like, a bonus, but if you don’t have someone, it’s okay doing stuff on your own too. And the more you appreciate loving yourself and being comfortable on your own, the more space you leave for loving someone else and you get to enjoy every happiness and fun WITH someone else. It is knowing that you’re happy and you have someone else to share your happiness with. That’s being independent.

You don’t want to be needy and build homes out of people because you’ll get lost in that home you built. When your home is broken and missing, you won’t know how to redeem yourself. All your happiness was put into building that home. What’s left of you will be loneliness.