Before You Speak, Make Sure You’re Really Listening

There are two things we all want, and that is to be heard and understood. However, that task is not always easy. People misunderstand each other, fight, and fail to communicate well with each other a lot of times. At the root of a lot of these conflicts is not listening and not willing to understand the message the person is trying to convey.

Someone starts to speak and before they even finish their lines, we interrupt them, assuming we know what they will say. Someone starts to speak and before they finish, we decide to invalidate their point. Someone starts to speak and we immediately get triggered or pass on our judgements. This happens everywhere and between the closest of people, yet it can sadly create barriers and distance over time.

But why do people do this? Do they think they know better? Do they think their point is more important than another? Do they try to save their time? Do they have a hard time with difficult conversations?

Whatever it is, if we want to build strong relationships, we have to fully listen, then react. That is why a lot of individuals highlight the importance of communication when it is done right.

When a person speaks, try to not just listen but to understand and to be open. When a person speaks, they do it because they have a thing to say, and by listening to them, no matter how hard it is, you help make them feel heard. People say so many things all day, and many of the trivial things they say actually have a lot of deeper meaning. A huge part of intimacy is trying to understand and allowing those in front us to express themselves comfortably knowing that the person in front is holding space for them.

Listening doesn’t even apply to just you and other people. It applies to your relationship with yourself. What are your thoughts saying? Do you ignore them? Do you do the opposite of what you feel like? Do you not give importance to that voice of yours? We also need to listen to ourselves and to tune in to our feelings.

Let’s be patient and kind. Let’s listen. Let’s get to know each other really well.