Thought Catalog

Here Is How To Love With Both Eyes Open

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Everton Vila

They say “to love is the greatest feeling of all.” It’s TRUE. You grow up and have this idea of love and the eagerness to experience it but like a moth that is drawn to light, you throw yourself out there in the hope that someone will catch you but really no one is waiting because they themselves are falling too. The question now is, if it is the greatest feeling of all why is it that you remember the hurt more when it ends? So, pieces of advice before you venture into the wild could be worth it.

Love Only When You Love Yourself Enough

Sound selfish right? But how can you share something you yourself don’t have? If you love yourself enough the person that you love and love you back don’t have to complete you but rather make you into something better because you are already complete. This is easier said than done especially if the little fucker we call heart has a mind of its own. But really you have to LOVE ‘YOU’ first before anyone else. You will not survive heartbreak if the pieces you have are borrowed.

Be In Love But Be Rational

Again when we love, the little fucker AKA “HEART” is in control so clearly, you don’t have a chance of going against it but instead of following it completely bring the rational one AKA “BRAIN” with you. DON’T LEAVE it BEHIND because at least it grounds you when needed. You might not listen to it because love makes you blind, mute and deaf but it will warn you if things are going wrong. It might not save you in time but at least this one didn’t leave you behind.

Accept That Nothing Is Permanent

Feelings, wonderful feelings you get to experience when you’re in love, oh such happiness like you are walking in the clouds. You cherish and hold on to it as long as you can but like everything in this world that life touches, it will soon be over and will change. This is what we call REALITY. I may sound bitter and harsh but you needed to be brutally reminded. You change, people around you change, time change and feelings change. Don’t go out there and not keep this piece of information in mind because love preys on ignorance. The sooner you accept the lesser pain you’ll experience when love goes away.

Unconditional Love? What’s that?

“I love you no matter what” that is how it is defined according to mighty Google. Hmmm, this is a tricky one because every circumstance has a condition. I do not believe it when someone tells me that you can love someone without expecting anything in return. You love because you expect to be loved that is a condition that is fair and just. You cannot simply be the giver of love you’re neither Eros nor Aphrodite for heaven’s sake. You are a person that wants what everyone desires and that’s to be cherished and loved.  So instead of saying “Unconditional Love” I think it is more realistic to say Conditional Love that understands. What the heck I am saying? Well, what I meant was that both of you are human beings with need, therefore, both of you should be filled completely so you discuss and compromise and work to keep the love. If it’s important for you work on it. 

You are but a moth, my friend. We all are. You know that you will get burnt by coming into the light but you do it anyway. You do it because the force is so much that leads you to it. It is precisely like LOVE but at least you don’t get to die. Yes, you get crashed and burnt but you’re still there, ALIVE. So what are you going to do?  You get up and find another light that you can come closer to until such time you can withstand the light. It will still harm you but it will never burn you anymore because you already know how to protect yourself. Just love my friend, after all this is the GREATEST FEELING but love with your eyes open, open not to anticipate the worst of what is coming but because you’re ready to embrace it and will it to succeed. TC mark

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