Don’t get me wrong ladies; I am not changing sides here. In fact, I am doing this for our sake. Just hear me out, okay?! I am not betraying any ladies here.
Let’s admit it and be truthful, 50% of the failure or success of any relationship depends on us (ladies). The math is simple, 50% from our partner and other 50% is from us and that is the only thing we can control.
So here we go.
1. We over analyze things
We are all guilty with this, when our partner are not speaking to us we have already conjured a million things in our mind of what could possibly be wrong and this is where all the paranoia starts which will eventually lead into a disaster. Ladies relax let us not invest our time and emotion on something that only resides inside of our heads. So chill, okay?
2. We think the world revolves around us
Yes we do! Don’t give me the eyebrow. When something is not right or our partners have suddenly gone a little bit cold, just like no. 1, we over think and suddenly we felt that everything that happens is all about us. We did something wrong or something is not right about us. Holla girl, your partner is a human being of his own and chances are he is trying to figure things out by himself so please let’s remind ourselves not everything revolves around us. This is the truth so get a grip!
3. We want our partners to know what we want
FACT: If we (girls) changes our minds almost every hour how can we expect someone to know what we want. Girl, we ourselves don’t even know what we want at times. Let me remind you, your partners are not Nostradamus if you don’t tell them what it is that you need and want they wouldn’t know about it! Think of your partner like a vending machine, the machine won’t give you anything unless you select what you want. No offense guys (peace!)
4. We assume A LOT of things
As much as I don’t want to admit this, I don’t have a choice but to include this in the list. We ladies assume about a lot of things. Like, we assume that when we do something for our partners they will return it to us the same way or even more. We assume that everything we do is at the best interest of the relationship but sometimes it isn’t. We assume that we know everything there is to know about our partner but we don’t. We assume because we trust our feelings so much and we sometimes forget the simplest thing to do, to validate the assumptions.
5. We expect the same affection returned to us
Okay this isn’t so bad and wanting affection is normal in a relationship but it’s just the intensity of affection we want. We want head over heels, sticky eyes kind of affection, okay you know what I mean. We want to have what we can give which is the problem. Girls, we cannot expect another person to love us the way we want because we are not them so maybe it’s time we lower those expectation a little bit. When we expect that’s when we get disappointed.
6. We never say what we really mean
Yes, as much as we talk a lot within our girl peers, we don’t actually talk to our partners the same way because we sometimes hide our vulnerabilities. What do I mean here? say your partner ask if he could spend time with their friends, we ladies would normally say, “okay” but deep inside we don’t want them to go. Instead of admitting our needs we try to look brave and unaffected in order to hide our true feelings. Another example, in bed, we pretend that things are “okay” and we are “satisfied” because we don’t want to hurt or offend them but in reality you’ve never been satisfied you can’t even reach the big “O” we continuously pretend until the time we had enough. For once ladies, would it kill us to just say what we want directly?
You may agree or disagree but we don’t actually need to waste our time debating things but rather spend time to reflect on which things we are guilty of. We have to remember that if our paradise is in trouble chances are, we bear some responsible for it in some way. Relationships aren’t based on our own idea of love; there are dynamics at work which we always have to keep in mind. If we want things to workout we have to work for it and that means also working on our limitations. I am not saying we are the problem, but genetically when we were born, we already have some disadvantages but so is every man. We just need to find common ground and work things out.