I could never be one of those providers that has a revolving door of strangers. Repeatedly meeting people you don’t know can be tiring. When I would be meeting a possible new client, I would adopt the attitude that I was just meeting a friend I didn’t know yet. I have never had a fear of meeting people, and I certainly never had an expectation around fear, or anything bad happening to me. It was just not part of my life’s experience at this point in my life. With that said, my idea was to have a small but meaningful circle of clientele. This was achieved easily. I had a set of rules that may have been a little different than other providers. I requested a picture of the potential client prior to any scheduling. I came to learn this was a request that x’d out a lot of potentials. However, I stuck to it. If a man was too paranoid to send it, then he wasn’t in my wheelhouse, so to speak.
This is how I looked at it. I was opening my home and myself. If you came into my home, you were like a guest at my dinner party. I treated you that way, like a friend. In the beginning, you kind of have to do that to get it started up. Very quickly, I was able to gather the desired demographic of clients and had about a dozen people who became long-term. I jokingly referred to them as my stable. I had this set of really great men. But with each one of those people, you’re a little bit different. Just like in normal life, with friends and family, you’re a different version of yourself in each one of those relationships. At times though, it becomes draining on an emotional level.
There is a lot of what I call slicing and dicing… compartmentalizing. Remembering this particular thing. Who likes what? What was said last time. There is a lot of mental memory work. It’s not work, for me it is easy. I felt like I had very personal relationships with my clients. Did I consider them friends? Absolutely! Could I call on them at Christmas and send them a fruitcake? No! Could I call on them when I’m feeling down? No. It is a friendship, but it is still a friendship within a certain context. So it all gets kind of crazy, but for me was super interesting. I’m a very mental/intellectual person and I enjoy analyzing everything.. It was very engaging for me to have all these different relationships in my daily life. Different ways, with different people.and as much mental interaction as there was physical.
The connections created in this secretive world still hold meaning, to a certain extent. I’ve had clients say to me “you’re a beautiful soul.” They’ve said, “You’re the Elvis of fucking!” I take that as an extreme compliment. But for me it was all about the magic that happened during these encounters. I’m all about energy, positive energy. Whatever happened in those hours, with any of those men.. to me, it wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t just sex for money. It wasn’t just filling a physical need. It was so much more than that. I knew about these men’s lives. Their feelings, their problems. A lot of the times I felt like a therapist. Other times, I was a show performer. It was like two o’clock, the show’s going to start! I better get into my mindset. Once the hour, the engagement started, with whomever I was seeing at that time, there was a distinct connection of odd yet magical energy. A few of my more enlightened girlfriends would come to call me a “sexual healer” and that’s what it felt like to me.
I’ve heard of other experiences from men, what they go through when they see a provider. They just want to turn around and walk out of the door as soon as they get there. Sometimes they do! But my thing was never like that.
I remember one story, in particular, from a friend of mine. He later got to know me, and we remain close friends. He described one occasion when he went to meet a girl he didn’t know. It was their first encounter. The minute she opened the door it was “ooh honey!”; “Baby… sugar… sweetie!” and “I’m so wet for you!” He says, “well, I know you’re not talking to me, because I just got here!” He turned around and left. She started calling him, as he drove away; berating and then screaming and cursing about what he’s done to her. It’s like, “duh!” I am very entrepreneurial by nature. When I would hear of accounts like this, it made me want to start a class and educate these girls on how to do it right. There is no need for this type of encounter to happen, on either side of the coin. Now that would have been a finishing school, indeed!
I never wanted anyone who was dealing with me to have that experience. I always liken it to my restaurant background. When I was younger I worked in a restaurant and learned everything about it from front to back. To me, when you’re serving a table,it should be approached as if your customers are guests in your home, at your table. You’ll never have to worry about your tip. You’ll never have trouble getting through it. You’ll enjoy it. That’s the exact same way I approached the business as a provider. You’re coming into my home, I’m going to be honest. I’m going to be real with you. And we’re going to have a good time. We will handle each other with respect. If we don’t, then I made a mistake in judgement.. Or he made a mistake. And that’s OK! It just wouldn’t go forward. Each person I saw was clear in the understanding that I sought ongoing friendships/clients. They were. They became friendships. That’s pretty much how I approach everything. Relationships are important, no matter how they come about.
For anyone who has had curiosity about what it’s like to be “one of those girls,” I hope this gives you insight and takes away some of the mystery of it. Like anything else people do; there are positives and negatives. I don’t judge it. I gained an immense amount of insight regarding myself and my life. The biggest downside to the business is that it becomes impossible for you to have a meaningful, committed relationship with one person. Also, when you play a “role” like this for too long, you start to become that persona that you are playing. There is a cost.