“What if you had given me a second chance?” you text me while I’m laying in bed with my girlfriend. I let my mind wander for only a moment and then I shook it off.
It is the wrong time.
We reconnect months later and the tables have turned.
“Would you give us a second chance?” I texted you as I’m laying in bed, alone now. My relationship ended and I couldn’t help but think back to you.
Although, I knew you were with someone new.
It is still the wrong time.
But that doesn’t stop us this time around.
The occasional hello turned into daily texts and phone calls; daily reminders of the fact that you are not mine and I am not yours.
“What if I kissed you?”
You shouldn’t. But I wouldn’t stop you.
“Someday, I’m going to kiss every inch of you.”
Someday, you always say. That word has become so habitual.
“I just need to see if things work out with her first and if it doesn’t…”
Time stopped when you said those words to me.
Does she get the good morning texts every morning like I do?
The endless compliments?
The random phone calls, ‘just to say hi’ throughout the day?
We were sitting in your car the first time I noticed the ring on left hand. A promise ring, you told me. You having matching promise rings with her. Every time I see you, it glimmers when it the sunlight hits it.
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams,” she texts me.
Is this what love is?
Love has rules between you and I. I can text you at work because she’s not around. When you are with her, my number gets blocked for fear of my name popping up on your phone. We can’t meet in person because who knows who will see you out with another girl.
Reality hit when I saw a picture of you and her together. I saw the love in her eyes as she looked at you.
This poor girl.
A girl who thinks her girlfriend is being faithful, honest, and true to her.
I wish she knew about all of the things you said to me.
The guilt has finally set in. Then anger shortly after.
No more someday.
No more what if’s.
We met at the wrong time.
And there will never be a right time for us.