Break ups are an absolute bitch. There’s no way around it. They drown you, they suffocate you and they leave the remains in a sad heap of self-loathing and pain. Nothing anyone can say can reassure you that things WILL get better, that he/she was a TOTAL douche bag. You can’t help it; you just find yourself stuck in your own thoughts, replaying exactly where it all collapsed.
And you know what doesn’t help? Music. Music becomes the demon of all demons, reminding you of all your sweet, adorable memories. You know the type; it’s that moment Taylor Swift can sink you into a pit of despair, One Direction leaves you wistfully staring out a rain splattered window and The Beatles have you curled up in a ball on insanity. DAMN YOU MEMORIES.
Yet, somewhere along the way, music can become our best friend during break ups. Because, I don’t know about you, but sometimes I need to let it all out. Sometimes I need a song that resonates so deeply with me that it has me screaming “MARIAH, I HAVE FELT THAT PAIN TOO!”
Of course, in this mad whirlwind that we call the demise of a relationship, we tend to go through many different stages. Naturally, our musical medicine needs to change accordingly.
Stage 1: Total Devastation
The remedy: Nothing compares to you Sinead O’Connor
The deal breaker: Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling; tell me baby where did I go wrong?
You’ve got to hand it to Sinead. The poignant simplicity of the music video, that heart wrenching tear at the end… This song is the absolute bee’s knees for crying yourself into oblivion in the immediate stages of a break up. It’s the perfect way to unleash all those angry, upset and confused feelings. LET IT ALL OUT!
Stage 2: Depression Session
The Remedy: All by myself Celine Dion
The deal breaker – Don’t wanna live all by myself ANYMOREEEEE!
Bridget Jones – say no more. Once the devastation has subsided, along comes the monotonous days of “Fuck my fucking life, what now?” How on earth are you meant to go on with everyday life when the puzzle is no longer complete? Sing it sistah. Embrace the chaos.
Warning: This particular phase may be joined by countless glasses of wine, disregard for makeup and the use of a hairbrush and an unhealthy obsession with Netflix.
Stage 3: Fuck you
The Remedy: The aptly named Fuck You Cee lo Green
The deal breaker – And although there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a… “Fuck you!”
Once you realise that, actually, he isn’t worth your tears, the phase of Fuck you rears its angry head. Largely made up of pent up rage, bolshie behaviour and 24/7 bitching, this feels like the final stage. But no my friend, sit tight, the best is yet to come.
Stage 4: Acceptance
The Remedy: Slow dancing in a burning room John Mayer
The deal breaker – This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we’ve been working on.
The light bulb moment. Here’s the stage when you can finally look at the break up with feelings other than total confusion. Finally, it all makes sense. Now is the time to go out and make some sort of fabulous change in your life. Change your job. Change your hair. Travel the world. Whatever, go out and grab life by the balls. Carpe diem.
Stage 5: Loving yourself
The Remedy: Irreplaceable Beyonce
The deal breaker – You must not know ‘bout me, I could have another you in a minute, matter fact he’ll be here in a minute.
The. Best. Moment. Ever. It’s that final stage when you realise, actually, I’m fucking awesome. If Queen B can do it, hell yeah I can do it! Go out. Be a total diva. Make the most of having no strings; no responsibilities… basically, stick two fingers up to the world. It’s time to own it.