I know many fitness companies will have you believe losing that extra weight before your birthday celebration is going to magically fix the hatred you have towards your precious body.
I know being able to wear a crop top with baby abs peeking out will make you feel incredible in that dressing room.
I know going from a size eight to a four will send a shock of adrenaline through your body as you wear them out for the first time.
I have been this girl. I have bought into this mindset.
I know losing weight may seem like the ideal way to engage in more self-love, but your brain is more powerful than the number going down on the scale.
If you constantly believe eating more salads and basic chicken dishes is going to make your mindset towards yourself become more positive, think again.
I was just like you. I thought after I losing around 40lbs this summer, all of my body image issues would disappear like the extra pounds society told me to get rid of did. I honestly believed all the “flaws” I saw in the mirror would be erased from restraining myself from my favorite dessert.
I put my body through strain. I was constantly afraid of food for months, thinking this is what it would take to love myself. Hurting something that keeps me alive. Not feeding myself because I thought if the scale told me I was melting away my flaws, my mind would follow.
I may have a stronger physique and my clothes may fit better than my 160lb self did, but I constantly find flaws I need to melt away.
Purposefully under-eating because I am afraid the little self-love I did gain from this experience will vanish in seconds. I am afraid to go out to eat. When I overeat or eat the recommended amount my fitness app tells me, I panic. I panic over something that was meant to create more self-love, but instead, it has become a constant uphill battle. A cycle I cannot get out of, in a sense.
My body may have changed, I may look like I feel better when wearing tighter clothing, but my mindset never changed. The flaws were molded into different ones, and the self-hate came back in different forms.
Before buying into “Skinny Teas” and juice cleanses, check your mind. Check the root behind why you want to change your body. Is it for yourself, or society telling you this will fix every aspect of your life?