It’s Not Pathetic, It’s Painfully Beautiful You Believe They’ll Come Back

You may think you should be over them by now. You may think it’s stupid that every single day you hope they reach out to you, even if it’s been months since they stopped giving you a second thought. You may even believe they are going to come back and treat you better than they did before, that they’ll finally see you as someone they cannot live without.

People may spew negative words like, “You’re crazy,” and, “How pathetic,” for wanting them to come crawling back. Opinions that are along the lines of you’re worthy of more than the empty promises they engraved your heart with.

Friends may dismiss any discussion you have when you bring up their name because they have no idea the cracks in your heart still haven’t fully healed.

So you pretend.

You pretend and act as though you are over their presence when asked, “How are you doing?” You’ll fake yourself out that if they want a second chance you will never give it to them, but you secretly know this is all you want.

They still creep their way into your mind, reminding you of the love story you almost had, the love song they promised you only to erase the lyrics without a second thought. 

Every other date you go on they are still in the back of your mind. You think about how they held the door open for you, how they carried your leftovers, and how everything was molded so beautifully together.

But you decide to ignore the fact that they threw it all away as they painfully decided you weren’t worthy of their time.

I bet they painted your sky a deep blue but brought the rain after they decided your curves and dreams were nothing they wanted to be a part of. An individual who left you with nothing by an aching chest and unanswered questions.

You want them back.

You want the one person who continues to play tug of war with your heart to bring you close once more, even if it means releasing you again because a little bit of their attention is better than none. 

I am, too, one of these girls.

It may seem pathetic, but it’s painfully beautiful that you see the good in someone who only showed you heart wrenching pain, a pain that only they can heal.