10 Things To Do Instead Of Drunk Dialing That Fuckboy

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Ant Rozetsky / Unsplash

We’ve all been there. Thinking that attending a house party or going out with friends is going to erase the heartache we’re feeling.

Telling ourselves there is no way in hell that we’ll pick up that damn phone again and scroll to their name.

But, I can 99.99% guarantee this will happen (just like every other time you said it wouldn’t).

I completely understand where you’re coming from. It’s freaking hard to keep your mind straight and not call them crying when you’re home alone. I completely understand that you think a text or phone call if going to help the situation, but you know all the progress you have made will be thrown out the window.

Don’t throw away all the tears you’ve cried over them out the window just to hear their voice just one more time.

Plus, you may be so tipsy that you won’t even remember the conversation anyway.

But, I have some ideas you need to try instead of drunk calling your ex… They’re your ex for a reason, so for the love of all that’s good, keep it that way:

1. ANYTHING.

Literally, do anything other than call or even send a “u up?” text. Your sober self will regret it ALL, even that cute winky emoji you added on to spice it up.

2. Eat shit.

A slice of pizza is bound to fill the hole in your heart that carrots won’t. Doesn’t food always fix the problem?

3. Drink water or take another shot.

Hydrate or make a record of the number of shots of tequila you can consume (11 is my limit, shout out to the ex that helped me with this record).

4. Shower.

Sing some hardcore rap, cleanse yourself from their lies, and realize you’re a badass who doesn’t need this sh*t in your life, period.

5. Hug an animal.

My cat usually does the trick. If you don’t have a pet to console your achy, breaky heart, that honestly sucks and you need to go buy a companion as soon as the alcohol wears off.

6. Drunk call your best friend.

You won’t regret crying to them about that f*ckboy whose intentions weren’t true. It’ll put a smile on their face that you thought of them even under the influence. It’s a win-win situation.

7. Write, write, or WRITE.

I cannot count the number of times I have come home from a crappy date or test and all I’ve wanted to do is vent onto a piece of paper. Write a letter to this person or make a list of things that you found irritating, you’ll laugh at it in the morning.

8. Go on Tinder.

Honestly, this app is just fun to mess around with and flirt on. I have no other words for this point, just trust me and TRY it ASAP. At least it’s better than texting you know who, right?

9. Watch Netflix.

Anything BUT a romance movie. Nicholas Sparks is not your friend right now and neither is your ex. So if you’re thinking about texting that piece of trash, DON’T.

10. Delete his darn phone number.

Okay, this may seem a bit extreme. But honestly, as soon as I did this, the temptation wasn’t there to even sober text him when everything was reminding me of him. I have none of my past relationships numbers in my contacts anymore and it’s the best choice I have ever made.

If you’ve tried ALL of these 10 points and you still want to reach out, go ahead. I literally think there is nothing that I, or anyone on the internet, can say in order to stop your heart from reaching out to them #rip. TC mark

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