Before I get started, I want to make it clear that someone who treated you like an insignificant part of their life while you were in a relationship with them does NOT, I repeat, does NOT deserve to know what is going on in your life afterward.
To start off, I am guessing this ex-lover hit you with the phrase “I hope you’re doing well”, “what’s new?” or, my favorite, “how are you doing?” When that notification popped up, your forgiving heart probably skipped a beat or had a mini heart-attack. You were most likely stunned or shocked that they would ever reach out to you, let alone want to engage in a conversation after the way things ended.
Darling, you deserve more than what they put you through.
You deserve more than letting them back into your private sphere just because you feel rude about not replying. Maybe you still believe there is a chance at being friends, why would you want that? The probability of him leaving you on read when he gets bored is higher than me getting an A in calculus (and I am awful at math!). DON’T DO IT.
Throw your phone across the room (or gently toss it because smartphones aren’t cheap), eat some lettuce, read an autobiography, run a lap around your dorm or house, I couldn’t care less about the activity, just do ANYTHING but reply!
If you click that send button, he’ll stop responding and you’ll think “what did I do wrong?” or “why the hell did he leave me hanging?” and the whole cycle of this past relationship will swallow you up like a black, never-ending hole!
Was your first reaction, after getting this DM or iMessage, “they want to be in my life again! They actually, finally care!”
Santa is right, the truth is that they most likely want to know how your life is without them.
If you’re living in despair or thriving without their toxicity, maybe even a somewhere in between, you cannot give them the pleasure of knowing you still want to engage in a conversation with them. This gives them the power to enter and leave whenever they want.
They will realize you are always going to be waiting.
Why give this past person satisfaction that you still want to talk to them?
Don’t let your past feelings of affection towards him get in front of the memories of you laying on the floor crying. Screaming for him to want you and triple texting him that you loved and missed him just so you could get reassurance that he needed you as well.
Stop letting these people back into your life before you get sucked into their drama again.
We all deserve better, and this is the first step to cutting off what once caused you so much pain.