Three and half years ago, I ended a seven-year relationship with someone I deeply loved. The only way for us to be happy and live uncomplicated lives was to let each other go, and so we did. I spent a year abroad, knowing that distance and time would be the only way to heal, while he found someone to mend his wounds and help him move on. Although I’m happy he found love after love and a person that can make his days brighter and better, I still miss him on the hard days. But I never regret letting go.
Love in all its essence is such a beautiful thing. It has the power to make us see the world as brighter and more exciting. It gives us a new appreciation for life and the people in our lives. Love paints our world in vibrant colors, but that same love, coated with all its beauty and brightness, has the power to turn our hearts in ways that don’t reflect our best intentions. This happened to me.
My heart changed, and I was no longer growing into a version of myself I could be proud of. It takes a lot to admit when something is not working and that no amount of talking or working it out will fix the cracks or smooth the waters. It’s up to us to be honest with ourselves and our situation; it’s up to us to be brave enough to let go of the things that cause more harm than harmony.
Relationships are woven from intimacy, passion, friendship, trust, and commitment, and when these feelings and emotions are replaced by anger, jealousy, lies, and toxic behavior, we’re left with something that is so very far from a harmonious union.
You need to value your relationship with yourself enough to acknowledge when something is changing you for the worst, the same way you need to love yourself and your sanity enough to take a step back and be honest when you ask yourself, “Is this how I want to spend the next 10 days or months or years of my life?”
I asked myself the question, and even though it was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, I made it and I’m glad I did. When we set ourselves free from toxic situations, we free ourselves from toxic emotions and thoughts as well, and this is the ultimate freedom. Without those thoughts and feelings, we allow room for the good stuff. The stuff that inspires us to take up writing or art or sport; the stuff that reminds us to love ourselves a little more.
Free yourself from the relationships that disrupt your peace and quality of life. Break away from them and don’t look back. Remember, you can love someone with all your heart and soul and still let them go, because you deserve a love that’s woven from the good stuff.