You are not alone. I know it may seem that you are by yourself on this journey through the human condition, but you are far it. There are approximately 7.347 billion people on the planet. Science says that the human body is constantly renewing itself biologically every single day, which means you are not the same person you were yesterday. That is 7.347 people changing psychically and emotionally every day.
I have come across people in their 80s who state that they still don’t know what they want to do, but they do not regret not finding it. They spent a lifetime trying out various jobs, positions, professions, careers, and relationships. Sometimes, settling down into one thing is not going to be for everyone and that is okay. You are going to be fine.
Death is what gives life meaning, but living is what you are supposed to do. Working a desk job 9am-6pm for some is what life is about, as traveling the continent of Asia and backpacking Europe is for others.
There is no right or wrong answer to how one should live their lives.
Do not give up or be discouraged. Search for your passions and the things that make you happy. Love yourself for what you are and not what you could be. You are beautiful as you are because you chose to wake up today and to live.
Most people go their whole lives already dead, but you chose to take the undetermined path. You chose to go through doors in the dark and that is an accomplishment you should feel proud of. Your friends and family might turn their eyes in shame or they will support you. You will see your peers moving up in companies, having families, and appearing to have it together.
The reality is, no one is every truly ever going to have it together, because people are constantly changing.
Most stay in the same routine of their jobs, relationships, friendships and schedules because it is safe and not because they love it.
I don’t know if there is a God. I have no clue if there is some greater force or meaning to waking up and living the hell that is being human, but I do know that we all were created for something greater than just working and dying. If you need that extra five years to figure it out, take it. If you want to take a semester off from college to find your glitter, do it. Not an academic person? Not everyone is.
Quit that job that does not make you happy. Move to New York to start an acting career. Open up your own business in Venezuela, or continue to graduate school to get a Masters.
For those that turn their backs, let them go. They have their own demons that they fight every-day, and this is yours. Own your darkness, believe in your brokenness (if you are), and know that where there is night, a morning will come, because every day is different. You are different and that is a beautiful thing.