It’s become too much, to focus on everyone else so intently that I feel myself fading.
You violated me, even if it wasn’t violent. And the sad part is, I don’t even think you realize what you did was wrong.
The girl that is used to being left has felt the pain of saying goodbye so many times.
You are your own being. The ways in which you’ve grown are tremendous and every day I see a little of every one who loves you within you. However, I have been most lucky to see who you have grown to be. I hope you know how much you are loved.
And even though I want nothing more than to let your warmth overtake me, I can’t help but wonder if I’ll be the oxygen to your already intensely burning ember.
The woman I used to know was young and strong. She was wholesome and sweet around everyone. She was docile, and calm. She was soft and pretty. She always knew how to please everyone, and could give a serene comfort to those around her.
Because I would rather this fire I feel stem from my hate for you.
I can dance in your hazy living room to your favorite electronic music with your friends. I can stay drunk and high with you under the sun on the boat from dusk to dawn. I can drunkenly fall asleep in your bed at 3am when we get home from a night at all our favorite bars. But I can’t be who you want me to be.
I think I knew I would never put our brand new set of dishes in those cabinets to store. I think I knew we would never share the same bed in the room I had painted. I think I knew you were gone before you were home.