I Am Worthy Of Love: Everything I Learned After Growing Up In A Narcissist’s Cult

As you grow older, you might become suicidal, or have unexplained health issues.
As you grow older, you might become suicidal, or have unexplained health issues.
As one autistic friend said to me, “a lot of us live online” — but we don’t have to. We can create a world where there’s more understanding of people who are neuro-diverse, starting by talking about it.
When I consistently feel like I’m coming down with a fever, the last thing on my mind is leaving my apartment to run errands or socialize , never mind having sex. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.
If you find yourself in a crossroads rights now, where you don’t know if you should quit school or find a new career or move into your parents’ basement to figure out your life — know that whatever you’re doing, you’re not worthless.
The other night I was supposed to have a bunch of friends over. I made the event on Facebook weeks in advance when I was feeling really social, checking off ‘interested’ to a ton of other events in anticipation that I would soon be doing ALL THE THINGS.
I’ve spent most of my adult life trying various treatments for my mood — antidepressants, which helped my anxiety but made it impossible to orgasm, alcohol which made my anxiety worse the day after. I was curious to see if microdosing edibles would help me take my symptoms from tolerable to non-existent.
I’ve always been seen as difficult — even from the beginning. And I’m sick of being expected by society to bow my head and be quiet.
It wasn’t until looking into solo polyamory I realized I don’t have to feel guilty for having separate needs from my partner.