Being your normal and average girl-next-door, I have always been surrounded by stunningly gorgeous girl best friends who can’t help but be constantly clamoured by numerous and various suitors (both eligible and non-eligible alike). While these suitors finally pick up the courage to strike a conversation with my best friend, I am left there to stand alone, awkwardly, cringing inwardly as I watch them flirt with each other.
Now, while this attention may be considered as a form of flattery for some girls, don’t you start accusing me of being jealous! Certainly every girl would love to be showered with attention from the opposite sex once in a while to feel like she’s attractive and wanted, however, not when the situation turns into something extremely uncomfortable and somewhat mortifying (especially in the case where the girl is obviously not interested). Being the ‘ugly duckling’, I have been lucky enough to witness such experiences countless of times first-handedly, and I’ve managed to observe a few things that makes me feel blessed and rather relieved to be the ugly duckling.
1. Guys see you (and treat you) as a human being
Guys, being the visual creatures that they are known for, only target girls who meet their unimaginable standards both physically and emotionally. Thankfully, I don’t fulfill the physical criteria and therefore I know I am safe from all ill-willed intentions from guys. So when a guy approaches me, I know it’s not because he wants to add me to his conquest list, but maybe, just because he wants to have a chilled day together, hanging out as nothing more but friends. My lack of physical hotness also makes it easier, and the guy more willing, to form an emotional connection with me for some weird and unexplainable reason. Once he starts opening up, sharing his thoughts, worries and deepest darkest secrets, this makes me see guys in a whole new light. Beneath all the immaturity, baggy basketball shorts and crude and inappropriate jokes, guys can actually be relatively sweet and fragile beings.
2. You can keep your guard down and stay drama-free
One of my girlies has at least five different admirers at any given time, undeniably because of her superstar looks and electric personality. To all of you girls that are reading this, silently grumbling about how lucky she is to have so many suitors, just be grateful for the fact that you don’t go through as many complicated and pointless boy drama as she does. When a guy buys her a drink, she has to constantly fret and worry about what his true intentions are. Did he buy her the drink as an excuse to get her drunk so that they can get intimate physically later on in the night? Or was he just genuinely trying to be friendly and polite? No one knows, really. In addition, this problem exacerbates when she’s looking for a potential boyfriend. How genuine is the guy; does he just want her to show her off as a trophy girlfriend or is it because they genuinely connect on a much deeper level? And again, no one knows, really. She’s then just left with unanswered questions, which leaves her feeling confused and frustrated, bringing her back to where she started, as being a single pringle who is ready to mingle with an extra side of a lot of unnecessary boy drama. And what about when she and one of her admirers start a blossoming friendship, only to find out that feelings were not, are not and will never be mutual (her feelings, that is). She is then put into a very difficult and uncomfortable position, which results in the guy being rejected, and her feeling like the worst person on the planet. This then leads to her blaming herself for hurting the guy, when there is obviously no fault on her part, and she starts questioning herself as a human being, when in reality she’s such a darling and charismatic girl!
As for me, I am extremely fortunate for not being directly involved in any of these sticky and messy emotional situations, thanks to my averagely good looks. If a guy wants to buy me a drink, then hell yeah, score! I get a free drink. I don’t have to worry about his intentions anyway, since I’m obviously not the girl he wants to take home tonight, so I can safely assume that he was being friendly. And as for dating, I definitely know that the guy is into me because of me and not because of my looks because my looks don’t really qualify… or maybe he has really low standards. But anyway, this doesn’t pose as a problem to me since I have much difficulty in finding one guy, let alone having five suitors, therefore staying totally and absolutely drama free! And as for the last scenario, I never have to worry about that because there is rarely anyone for me to reject, therefore I can still happily convince myself that I am not a jerk, and that I am a kind and considerate human being, as I have not broken anyone’s heart unintentionally (yet).
3. Being comfortable in your own skin
No one is expecting you to be the super hot and glamorous version of you. Everyone else is just expecting you to be simply… you. You don’t have to worry if people only like you because of your looks, and you don’t always have to start a secret competition with other girls based on their looks in order to claim your self-worth – you can just be comfortable in your own skin and feel proud to be that silly but adorable, dorky and awkward you. Sure not everyone in the world will adore you, but you know what? That’s okay, because you don’t need the attention from every stranger around the corner, you just need the attention and love from a good group of genuine people that you call family and friends, and there’s nothing more that a person can really ask for. And these people all love you for the same reason, because you’re that ugly ducking who is a beautiful swan in their eyes. And this is when you know that it really isn’t so bad being the ugly duckling after all.