You Are Who You Love, Not Who Loves You

Stuart Wrightson
Stuart Wrightson

This is for the girl who just wants to be loved.

The girl who falls too fast, who gives her heart to the wrong guy, who blames herself every time someone new leaves her behind.

We all know that girl. In fact, we might even be that girl.

So here’s something to remember on the days when your cheeks are mascara-stained with tears and Adele is playing on repeat because your latest crush said you weren’t good enough.

You are who you love, not who loves you.

Do you understand what that means? Like really understand what that means?

It means your love is something to be given, not something to be taken. You have the power to choose who is worthy of your heart. That guy you met drunkenly at the bar doesn’t get to choose. Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t get to choose. You do.

It means the jerks who have broken you in the past don’t define you. They don’t decide you aren’t lovable. They don’t decide you’re worthless or a failure.

Instead, it means you are defined by the people you love today. By your friends, your family, even the sweet old lady that lives across the hall and brings you cookies. They are who define you. They are who make you, you.

It means, in the most cliched way, you can be anything you want to be, simply by who you choose to love.

If you want to be more adventurous, love the girl that travelled Europe by herself and now spends every weekend exploring a new city. If you want to be more generous, love the girl who volunteers at the food bank on Saturday mornings and organizes charity drives. If you want to be more outgoing, love the guy who never misses a 5 o’clock happy hour and walks into every party like he’s a celebrity.

And if you want to be loved, if that’s all you want more than anything, love the one person who knows you best, who has everything you want to be inside of them already.

If you want to be loved, love yourself. TC mark

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Amanda is an anorexia survivor, body positivist, and writer. She loves toast and rainy days and wants to grow up to ... Follow Amanda on Instagram or read more articles from Amanda on Thought Catalog.
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