It’s Okay When You Lose Friendships

I know you like to build relationships with people because you love people. And you are so keen on making sure those said people know they’re loved. And I know you tend to give your all in these relationships. You’re so brave for doing this, over, and over, and over again.

You’re so brave for loving your friends like you’ve never been hurt. For loving strangers like you’ve never been afraid. I’m so proud of you for never giving up on others, or yourself, because you are mature enough to know that humans are broken, and need to be this way in order to build. And here you are; you keep building.

But, there come seasons in your life where you lose a friend as quickly as they came. There’s a break, a crack. You grow distant. Maybe one of you moved away. Maybe one of you got distracted by a difficult path. Or maybe life happened and none of you really know why you’re no longer as close as you used to be.

That friendship was never guaranteed but your sweet soul held onto it like it was. You wanted so badly to get this one right. To have a friendship like the ones in the movies. And your heart breaks knowing it wasn’t the case. And you see how they’re still around but they’re barely there for you.

But here you are: you keep building.

Thank God for that friendship you lost. Thank God he knew what you needed when he brought you two together. Thank God he didn’t let them overstay their welcome, and vice versa, because he knows you have traits that need work just as much as anybody else. Thank God for his timing.

You wouldn’t have changed if it weren’t for them. You wouldn’t have become stronger if it weren’t for the hurt of losing people you thought would stay. You wouldn’t have started to depend on yourself and find wholeness in being completely you, separate from anybody else. And that’s just scratching the surface when it comes to the friendships we’ve lost.

And for that, we must thank God. Because really, friendships we’ve lost were never a loss to begin with. We were never promised perfect friendships. We were never promised to be in relationships with perfect people.

Instead, we were warned about trials and tribulations. About the frailty of the human condition. How the heart can be deceiving. And yet we were told about the sorrow that would not compare to the joy we will experience some day.

So, break. Grieve. Hurt. Feel all the burdens of pain. Then, thank God. Offer up your praise like a bouquet of roses, not clean of thorns. Leave them there. Tell God you still choose to love, despite this pain you’ve been through time and time again.

You have no idea what God is doing, so let go. There is a time to build friendships and there is a time to break them. If we don’t make our peace with that we will be trapped under the rubble for longer than we’d like.

And I know you’re going to want to get back to building despite the cracks.

We watch movies knowing they end – but we stay for the story.

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