I know you tried to convince yourself that he was good for you, just like you tried to convince yourself that you were healed.
Here’s the truth: There are people who come into our lives to show us that our intuition works. That our heart is not lying when it tells us to be careful. That we’re not completely irrational for believing there are too many red flags.
Because while you thought it was your anxiety, it was really your intuition working to protect you.
There’s a man that will come by in life to prove to you that you are, in fact, not done healing — even if you tried your best to convince yourself that you were.
Let’s be honest, you knew you weren’t done healing. You knew this, but you tried to rush the process.
He helps you realize you’re not finished doing the inner work needed to have a strong foundation for what’s to come. Not done proving to yourself that your past does not dictate your future. He doesn’t say anything to prove this — you are simply graced with this lesson through the way the events roll out.
It’s okay to allow yourself to have feelings for somebody who is not good for you, though.
It’s okay to keep going down that path only to realize you were right. That they wouldn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. Not because they’re a bad person — no. But because you two are not on the same page. And because you still need to learn how to love yourself, anyway. And maybe they do too.
Sometimes when God knows we’re stubborn, He allows us to continue on a path where we can be proven right or wrong for ourselves.
Like when you take a road to make sure it’s actually blocked, even though the sign a couple kilometres earlier told you it was. And so did your GPS. And your friend in the passenger seat.
And sometimes the pain from this rejection or this false reality to your expectation is exactly what you need to move forward. To channel yourself into true love. And to know that you can actually do absolutely fine in life, even while healing through the worst of pains.
Sometimes people like this come to help us be more in tune with ourselves so we’re ready to make even bigger decisions in life — ones whose consequences will matter a whole lot if we don’t listen to our gut.
So maybe that’s why you’re not completely heartbroken. Maybe that’s why you’re betting on a sliver of hope: Because you know this is only bringing you closer to figuring out what you want, and more importantly, what you deserve.
This “no” is only an open door to a life you can’t imagine exists beyond this season right now. A life God is calling you into.
Keep going, because you are growing into parts of you that you forgot were there in the first place. And it’s a beautiful thing watching you admit you’re hurting yet living through it as if it’s the fuel to your next move.
There must be something so good waiting for you on the other side of this.