Thought Catalog

You’re Depressed? I’m Not, But Try These Quick And Easy Cures

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Daniella Urdinlaz

When I tell people I suffer from depression, the absolute last thing I want to hear is their ‘advice’. There’s always someone who’s all “have you tried [obvious shit]?” or “you know what worked for my cousin’s girlfriend? [some ridiculous shit]” or “my friend had [completely different condition] and now they’re fine thanks to [dangerous shit]”.

I understand these questions may come from a good place, but that doesn’t mean they’re not shitty. They are. And they’re almost always asked by people who do not suffer from a mental illness. It’s not just the questions, it’s the motivation behind asking them. The Have you tried? crowd tend to heroically sashay into the conversation like they’re about to bestow an obscure and powerful revelation onto your uninformed head. Let me be very clear, whatever you suggest, chances are we’ve already tried it, so stop trying us.

Have you tried-ers? are often surprised when their suggestion (typically something that ‘worked’ for their aunt) has not ‘worked’ for you. The implication that these tips will somehow ‘cure’ you is infuriating. When people say “this worked for X and now they’re fine”, it belittles everything about mental illness. Thinking you can ‘cure’ or even ‘make better’ a serious mental condition with one small recommendation is bold and stupid. It’s like going up to a cancer patient and saying “I’m not a doctor but have you tried crystals?”. It’s very simple, if someone doesn’t explicitly ask for your opinions/suggestions/advice on their mental illness, then don’t give it. Keeping your mouth shut is free and easy.

For those who still want to give their unwanted opinion, I’ve put together this handy FAQ to save you time.

Have you tried eating healthy?
Yes. Still depressed.

Have you tried exercising?
I can barely get out of bed but yes, I have tried, and it made me feel worse. Still mega depressed.

Have you tried meditation?
Yep. It didn’t clear my thoughts. In fact, it made more room for more thoughts and the last thing I want is more thoughts. More depressed than ever.

Have you tried chamomile tea?
Hell yeah! Still want to die though.

Have you tried going for a hike?
I have indeed and it helped me find cliffs to jump off.

Have you tried staying off social media?
Grow up.

Have you tried pretending to be happy?
Every. Fucking. Day.

Have you tried breathing?
No. Is it good?

Have you tried living?
Sometimes.

Have you tried trying?
Never.

Hope this helps! But remember, if in doubt, keep your mouth shut. TC mark

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Poetry that will change you

This is for the women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea. This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls. The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts. This is for the women who drink coffee at midnight and wine in the morning, and dare you to question it. This is for the women who throw down what they love, and don’t waste time following society’s pressures to exist behind a white picket fence. The women who create wildly, unbalanced, ferociously and in a blur at times. This — is for you.

“When Janne has a new poem written, I shut my life down to do nothing but read it, and then when I turn my life back on, everything is better.” — James Altucher

You’ve never read poetry like this before

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